I must go

I must 把心一横, I must not quaver, I must not stay beyond my expiry date.

For the past two months, almost immediately after I returned from my block leave, I harboured the idea of quitting there and then. Very shuai ok, walk in, sit down a while, shriek and run to the toilet. Come out trembling and tell boss I would like to quit, and would like to take the day off.

But I never la. I stayed, and it had been 2 mths already since. These two months had seemed to past by so slowly that I can almost recall how I pass each day in pain.

Everyday I would wake up and I hope I am sick. I hope I can take mc for 2, 3 days and stay away from work. Everyday without fail.

Or I would wake up, let out a long sighhhhhhh, then grudgingly prepare for work while cursing a few swear words.

Long ago, I enjoyed my work and always scold customers behind their back. I felt it was therapeutic. Now I would tell boon heng, who is my neighbour at my workplace, that customers 很贱.

Would just mutter a few comments, and sink back into the seat and continue to call the next (贱) customer. It doesnt bother me as much anymore. I used to be very bothered by the bad tempered customers, especially when he/she is screaming or shouting and not making sense and is not giving me chance to explain.

Now I am very affected when I had to reject customers' request despite their pleads, and have to mete out further actions that the managements have decided. As boon heng say, in a job like this, sometimes you have to bind your heart with a length of white clothe and remind yourself it is just a job.

I hate it.

So for the past 2 mths I've been telling myself, my contract ending soon le, bear with it!!! And so I stayed. Just yesterday, I've confirmed with boss that I will like to offset my last day with 3 of my remaining 4 days leave. I would be leaving this job on 25nov.

I do feel a little unsure. But during every other moment, when boss gather us for a meeting, and lay out new and stricter rules and regulations, I would heave a sigh of relief and is thankful that I am leaving soon.

Sometimes I wonder how far are they going. Exactly what other aspects are they going to control. Currently they are already controlling the number of calls made, the number of people we managed to contact, the times customer fulfil their promises to us, the amt involved in the process, every call conversation, how long are we logged on to the system, and what time we log on.

Then they started controlling that we cant read newspapers while we are waiting for customers to answer our calls. We cannot do anything except to stare at the screen.

This is something I am absolutely pissed about, because we are have to juggle our job responsibilities, our goals, company image, and customers' feelings in every call. But we cant even take a few secs to update ourselves on the latest news. You may feel that it is correct what, to not be able to read the papers during work, but I think I am just trying to stretch my time a little more.

They tell us we cant claim meals allowance, when it is just $5 but we have to stay 1.5 hrs. Each ot hr is worth less than $3.30 hence, but they want to restrict us.

They are saying we should not be going to the loo in 3s. Best is that we dont go in pairs too. Best if we wear pampers la.

Do I need to start to breathe quietly when I work in fear of breathing would be the next thing they stomp down on.

Do I need to stop combing my hair while talking to customers in fear of them insist on all of us to shave our heads?

I think restrictions and regulations 是在所难免的, but excessiveness makes the working environment cold. 当大家都摒着气，深怕着一个人的不小心，又会造成一个新的条规的时候，大家都不得不小心翼翼.

很难过.




This morning, boss ask me whether I want to renew my contract. I was at my seat and he ask jordan to come over to my seat.



*****

Me = K
Boss = B
Jordon = J


B: If your contract were to be renewed until next year's march, are you interested? (Turns to me and called my name quizzically.)

K: I dont want.

B: Ok, you dont mind, and you jordan?

K: (Interrupts) I say I dont want.

B: Dont want? (Pause) Oh ok, and jordan you leh?

J: I dont mind.

B: (Turns to me again) You sure you dont want?

K: I dont want, I want to go, I dont want to stay anymore.

B: (Nods and walk away.)


Hours later, the contract renewal is confirmed.

*****


People ask me why I dowan to stay. I think the reason to leave outweighs staying.


If I want to stay, it would be because

1. I shouldnt be bumming around

2. I should be working to earn money.

3. I would miss my colleagues, especially the few of them who cant become friends. Like kenny.

I am leaving, because

1. I cant stand all the rules and regulations

2. I want more job security, hence perm job

3. I feel very zek ark in the job, incurring a lot of bad karma

4. The management is reviewing restrictions and yet wants us to hit target. Like want you to shoot bulleye, but put the dartboard 11 traffic lights away.

5. If I stay in the job, I dont feel the 迫切感 to find a more suitable job.

6. I dowan to be the last person standing, dowan to feel that I am forced to stay because I dont have a better choice.

7. I always wanted to be offered renewal, but I would reject and exit gracefully. I dowan to be a stranded fish.

8. I hope to join a job which I would use my brain a little bit more.

9. I dowan to use the upgraded system. Pui la. Upgraded the bugs 就有.

10. Boss very 怕死.

11. Dont like her.

12. Let's leave, then I'll feel happier.

It is really not a whimsical thing. I've been thru worse and I wouldnt really leave if I could continue to endure. As a matter of fact, I would love to leave now.

Everyone has been supportive, but a lot of people cant understand why I have to be so adamant. After I've explained, everyone accepted, but that doesnt stop people from speculating.

People might think that I am not renewed because boss dowan to renew me, people might think that I am just a naive girl who 不知天高地厚, quitting a job before I've secured another.

But I really not being 意气用事. Why should I be. But I really think the job is really devouring me up. If I dont leave I might slip into the comfort zone. I shouldnt say this on a public domain, but I think my company is manupulative. But I guess every company tries to maximise what they can get out of the money they pay for each employee, so I just have to accept that.

But I think this move of renewing for 4 mths is purely to cushion the impact of too many perm staffs leaving. After this initial period, once everyone starts getting use to the workload, they will immediately ask the contracts to leave.

It feels like you are playing a game, you see your time counting down to death, and you pick up an element that grant you 15 more seconds. In this 15 seconds, you cant do much but you have to count down to your death once more, extending the agony.

I dowan to play le. Game over can?

Biscuits babies

These are biscuits made in the form of babies leh... Very realistic, but who dare to eat?

Consider this...

You decided that you want to buy 100 oranges for a certain business. After comparing at 8 different fruit stalls you decided that one particular uncle seet gives you the best deal. You will be able to get the 100 oranges at 80% of the price.

You went back to tell all the other fruit stalls that you are not buying from them anymore because you are getting a better deal from uncle seet. They are ok with it, and each went to sell the oranges they reserved for you.

All's well until you go back to uncle seet. Now he tells you because of some circumstances, he can only sell you 80 oranges instead. You are frustrated because the deal was already decided on now why is he going back his words.

You understand that uncle seet is doing a business and you respect that he may have changed his mind for something for his benefit. You accepted his new arrangement, and he went ahead to prepare the oranges for you.

He came back and request for 100% of the original price, nevermind he gave you a discount earlier on and now he is giving you 20 less oranges.

You cant back out now because if you do, you cant even get the 80 oranges because all the other stalls have sold their reserves.

But if you accept, you are short of oranges and short of money too because now uncle seet is overcharging and giving you less than you need. You need the oranges for a business, and that cant be delayed. If it is, you will incur more monetary losses.

Uncle seet tried to persuade you into taking up the deal yet (because he is benefitting from it), and promised the next time you need oranges, he will throw in another 2 grapes for every 100 oranges you buy.

You think to yourself. Why is it uncle seet is having all the say and you cant even reject? It is because he gave too good an offer to began with and you put all the hopes on this offer and reject every other offer.

By the time when there is only one offer standing, uncle seet had you contained and manipulated. You cant escape.

From the bottom of your heart, you hope uncle seet gets run down by a car the next time he cross the road.

New earrings

Here, as usual.

I actually bought these pairs on sat, on the same night when mashi bought her phone. But I am too lazy to take pics, if not for I want to take the pic of the newspaper article of david tao, I think I will procastinate for another year or so. Haha.

David Tao!

Yay! Tao zhe is coming to singapore for concert again! Super excited! =)

I feel conscience-stricken

Sigh... Up to now wor.

I feel bad about mashi's purchases yesterday. We went out yday and I suggested that we would go marina sq after our singing session.

All's well until she suddenly ask me whether there was a adidas shop in citylink. I really cannot remember, so I told her there is a sports-brand shop just beside the exit to go to esplanade.

Mashi has recently been very obsessed with jackets/sweaters. She loved to don a pair of jeans, a mphosis top and wear a sweater on top of it. She looks out for sweaters with zipped pockets and she already bought 4 or 5 in the past one mth.

So yesterday when she spot one in adidas, she was immediately in love with it. Visually it looked a little short in the torso, but it looks perfectly well on her. She also admit she has a short torso, so she is very happy with it because it is of the perfect length.

It cost $119. Another one that I saw has a very unique design and cutting, but it cost $139. I told her that looks better actually, because there is more design input in that piece.

But she is adamant, because she love the length of this piece, black, with red strips running down the long sleeves.

And she paid for it lor, and wore it immediately.

She kept asking me whether it was nice. It was, honestly, but in the same tone, I can also honestly say that I would not spend $119 on a sweater. She said it is adidas one mah, so a little more expensive is within expectation what.

I nodded my head meekly, for I've never bought sports brand before, and my branded goods quantity can be counted against one left hand.

Later in the evening, she saw a good handphone deal, and ask me for my opinion. It's a sony erisson phone, 2.0 megapixel phone and it is really nice. It cost $688 w/o contract, or $288 with her handphone trade in.

Her hp is already faulty, so we zekark-ly feels it should be exchanged/sold away quick. So upon seeing such a good deal, she phone her da-ge, her hubby, to bring down her charger, original box and etc, to complete her upgrade.

Da ge wants to change hp too, so he is ok with coming down.

Upon seeing him, she ask him how did her jacket look, and he said he bet it cost a lot, at $120! Mashi didnt realised the implications of his words, and quickly gave affirmation that it is the guessed price. Da ge is dumbstruck, and kept asking her is she for real or not.

She showed him her reciept and ask him whether he wants to pay for it or not?

Da ge immediately say no and said he will pay for her phone instead. Mashi is of course, still delighted, but I think da ge was really unhappy already by then, but kept telling mashi it's ok, buy already nevermind lor.

But as per mashi's habit, she would tell da ge I coerced her into the purchase. Da ge never take her words for it la, I think, but still I felt bad. I could tried harder to stop her from buying it, but I also know once she have decided she is not changing her mind.

Still, I feel bad.

Then after the two of them decided on their phones, the saleslady recommend mashi to get the desktop charger as well because she said mashi's phone is quite fragil and cant overcharge or the lens of the camera would be easily spoilt.

Da ge felt it wasnt useful, and the saleslady began to throw in more persuasion, saying that the desktop charger comes with a free battery, compatable to mashi's phone only. On top of so she would also include two screen protector, which she estimated to cost $10 each.

True, the total package adds up to have more value that the $68 the charger is selling at, but I really think it is really too much le. Da ge kept refusing, but mashi keeps wanting it, so the saleslady was having the upper hand.

I, on the other hand, kept quiet. It was really beyond my call to speak up. But I tried to tell mashi that for $10, she can buy a hp pouch to protect the whole of the phone ar. The screen protector can only protect the screen leh.

Mashi preferred to buy the charger, and da ge in the end still gave in.

But he look uphappy.

I dont blame him. $68 leh.

Sigh.

I told mashi that later. She felt bad, but by then we were already in the car on our way back. She apologised to da ge and da ge told her she surely wont use the charger one lor. Mashi kept saying she would.

And let's see lor.

Because the atmosphere was so sombre, I excused myself from staying at their house overnight as we originally planned. I told mashi it was already so late, near to 12 midnight, I would really be going to her house to sleep only, and we are not going anywhere today wor.

Sigh. Let's hope they didnt get into an arguement after I left. Hopefully.

Comments wor~

I logged in today to realise my side blog, pfma.blogspot.com is being shown in the first in the order of my blogs in my dashboard.

By right mah, it should be this blog mah, cos my last updated blog is this one. So I clicked over and realised someone left spam comments in my latest joke entry.

Comments left my unknown people is totally foreign to me, because I blog my crap in this blog, and I disabled all comments because I dont want to know what people who read this blog thinks.

Especically if it is people whom chanced by.

All friends can relate anything to me verbally.

How I know will have people spam my jokes blog, especially when the whole purpose of the blog is to entertain me only. I post my favourite jokes there. Haha.

Zhen qi guai. =)

Papervoice #2

消失了

我似乎突然消失了
在你的世界
我已变得不重要了
你不再对我怀念

曾经我以为我们会在一起 永远永远
曾经相信爱可以走得下去 一年一年

原来没什么会一直
保存着不变
有效日期清楚印在
爱情背后的标签

在爱情里完全瞎了眼 我没有看见
你的心慢慢飘离视线 我没有发现

Papervoice #1

就宣布

我要向全世界宣布 我已爱上你
我要向全世界宣布 我永远不会离开你
我要向全世界宣布 我们的爱情
我要向全世界宣布 我们是一对情侣

我要向全世界宣布 我已爱上你
我要向全世界宣布 我永远不会离开你
我要向全世界宣布 我们的爱情
我要向全世界 向全世界 告诉全世界的人
我们是一对恋人 我们是一对恋人 我们是一对恋人

Fidgety people

Was sleeping on my way home after work today and half way into the journey, a woman got on with a girl around 2 yrs old, and a boy around 6 years old.

They comfortably occupied the two seats to my left, as I was in my favourite seat in the bus.

I can never understand some parents, how they can bring their children out but not control the little brats. I've seen repeatedly children screaming in the public, and dash around like some wild animals or bawl nonstop.

But of course I am not in favour of bashing kids in public. I always tell myself next time when I had kids, if they are going to be a public nuisance I will not box them there and then, but probably told him/her "you either keep quiet, or that is one caning when we reach home."

Wanxin once commented that this way would not work, because by the time we reached home I would have forgive the child. So I felt quite foolish that I even think about this method.

Until I saw my cousin teaching nicholas. The way my cousin, and her husband, take care and teach nic has always make me feel that is really the correct way.

The two of them really bu shou ruan when they need to beat nic when he is being too inobedient. They will cane, beat, scold, etc etc etc. But when nic is good and nice, they are super mushy, cuddling together and all.

Once, when nic and the rest came over, he was being naughty again as he always is, and sis (how I call my cousin by) verbally warned him a few times, but he continue to be a nuisance.

She just lowered her voice, and said "Nic, you go on to do that, go home you will know."

Nicholas immediately dropped whatever he was doing, and sat down meekly.

I know for sure that previously such incidence must had occured before and nic refused to heed warnings and was giving a thorough scolding/caning when he got home. That is why this time round it is so effective.

So I began to think, it may not be a matter of how children on a whole are naughty and forgetful of how they had been naughty, nor a matter of how parents get over the anger or shame of their child acting a brat in public. More rather, it is how, being parents, they must know they have responsibilities to take care and control their child, and not let their child behave like an unruly animal.

Back to the topic, the mother just let the two children scream, and fidget and climb around the bus. It would be highly amusing to watch if the two children didnt manage to kick me everytime they thought of a new stunt.

And I thought I was just being unforgiving because they woke me up from my slumber, and I proceed to stare at the bunch out of a corner of my eye in disgust.

Finally the two children spared me and went to harass another sleeping passenger. A male student from SAJC was peacefully sleeping, unaware to the animals.

That is, until they went to sit beside him and kicked him until he woke up. He began to stare at the bunch with hatred in his eyes and the mother quickly scoop the children back to their original seats (beside me) and the began to kick me all over again.

Another bewildering thing this mother did was to place the little girl seated with the pole between her legs, like ask the child to giap and hug the pole like that.

Which is stupid, because the little girl successfully knock her forehead into the pole a few times, and began to wail. I shouldnt be saying this of a child, but still, luckily she is wearing thick pampers, or she is going to be scarred le wor. Haha.

Maximising the entitlements

Guess what? I'm on leave again. Medical leave. The doctor called my case stress-induced stomach problems.

So he gave me two types of pills, one for stress, one for stomachache.

I am keeping the anti-stress one.

I dont know since when had I become such a whiner, taking mcs on whim. I confided to lyn abt tt, and she laughed and said herself too, and many people in the office too. It is very true, that made me feel a morsel better, but not much.

It is not the fact that everyone else is doing it or everyone else is not doing it, it is the fact that why am I so in need of mcs? Do I detest the job so much that I manage to justify my every medical leave within 10mins of waking up and sitting on the toilet bowl?

There are times when I am sick beyond words and I definitely need a mc, but there are other times when I am just sick of work, and a stomachache can explode into a stress related ailment.

I think my doctor can see that I am not actually physically ill, but more spiritually worn out. Maybe it is as important to be spiritually healthy, so my doctor didnt dismiss my tiredness.

I've spoken to some of my colleagues, and a few of them are equally sick of the job. Some others which I thought are enjoying the job is secretly loathing it, it seems. Lyn said so.

I pray that I will enjoy myself enough to not take so much mc in my next job. I dont usually take mc on my job, almost never, and my attendance in school had always been almost perfect despite stress.

Let's hope it is like what lyn said, it is the job culture here. It is only unique here so I wont be doing it in my next job. Another frightening thought is, am I such a follower that people take mc I must also take? Really trying to max out the entitlements hor.

Wah kao eh

Tarp bai eh leh.

I want to watch kxll lah~ *Roars*

I want to opt out from this scv bill sharing thingee. I am getting a bad deal here.

Cumbersome internet service

I am currently signed up under singnet 256 broadband. I know they have automatically upgraded all 256 to 512 broadband but I cant feel it at all.

For the past few nights, my internet connection has been highly unstable. It disconnects itself after a while, then I would have to reconnect it.

I dismissed it with a snort because I know internet connection are always unreliable, and so far, it has only been these few days that I am having problems, unlike some of the other people. I've saw many people complaining on forums and their blogs that their internet connection died on them.

But this afternoon mine died after a period of inactivity. I left the comp idle and went to eat mooncakes. When I returned, I could no longer connect back.

Thank goodness, my younger brother went to get my cousin house to get the broadband technical helpline for me, at 1800 - 8486933. I am super relieved that the line was super congested and I had to wait for around 8 minutes.

Some time ago I had problems with my internet and I tried the technical hotline then and was informed by the chirpy recorded voice that the helpline was open from mon to fri, 8am to 8pm, sat 8am to 1pm, and not open on sun and public holidays.

When I heard that message then, I immediate mutter vulgarities in 4 languages in 5 seconds, kudos to roystan tan.

Didnt these people understand that technical support must be 24/7 one? What is the point of having support at normal times when you can drag the comp to the repair shop?

That time that it died, it was 2 am in the morning. KNS!

Okss, so I said, the internet went down this afternoon and I waited for 8 mins before a guy came to the phone.

He is either asleep or he never encountered someone as prepared as I was.

Once the line got thru, I greeted "good afternoon" in a very pleasant voice, then proceed to narrate my problem at bullet speed.

I asked him whether he need my name or ic number or acct number. He huh-ed. -_-" I immediately told him nevermind, and told him my internet went dead and I cant revived it.

He finally got his souls together and tried to answer my questions.

As per any service staff, like myself, he first tried to convinced me that I need to restart computer and call again later (and hopefully wont reach him again.)

But too suay lor him, because I never like to talk to singnet staff and I had already tried all possibilities but really cannot. If I can remedy the situation, I dowan to call at all.

Modem lit/blinking? Check
Tried unplugging and replugging? Check.
Logging off and logging on? Check.
Restarting comp? Check.
Waited a while then reconnect again? Check.

Told him shouldnt be anything to do with hardware or password or virus either, cos I've checked all of them.

He came up with something different still, something that I didnt consider.

He asked me whether I had two telephone lines at home. Told him yes, but I had mircofilter for the room line, while the modem as an built-in filter.

He suggested I unplug the extra line and he would call me back on my hp instead.

He took 15mins to call and when he did, he suggested that I restart my computer again. I asked him what for, for it doesnt really make sense. He said he is trying to help me regain my connection (and stop being a bitch and listen to his instructions and stop having so much opinions). Told him fine.

Restarted my comp and the internet connection was up again! Surprise surprise!

Dont pretend I dont know lor, it is surely an error on their side and he is asking me to unplug and restart while in the meanwhile he quickly go repair my connection line on his side.

I am guillible but too far to be a stupid ass leh.

Well well, 4 hrs later and my line is still strong, no disconnection problems and I am surfing with ease. I hate singnet really, but their internet service is on dedicated lines, so my connection has always been v stable.

Heng cai ar! Cos if the modem were to fail and they recommend I buy a new one I would immediately jump ship over to starhub. Next time, next time!


***
My specs are scratched! Shit! Need to get a new pair le, $100 leh. So sian.

Should be flattered

But I am not.

This morning on my way to take the free shuttle bus, my ears are plugged with music and I am trying to walk with seh in my new heels. These new heels are bought since long long ago but because the back of my feet is chafed I cant wear them.

This pair of heels is really pretty, but I dont have a picture of it to hao lian.

Ok, dont digress! To get to the free shuttle bus, I need to cut thru raffles city, cross the road to get to raffles hotel. The free shuttle bus comes every minute or so in the morning. But the traffic sucks.

The moment I walked out of raffles city, minding my steps even more because the slabs very 凹凸不平, then a person talked to me.

A guy, a black, very tall and wearing yellow. He was talking to me, so I halted my music and listened. He asked me where are there internet cafes.

Siao lor. It is 8.20 in the morning, I am hardly awake, and on top of that I am directionally challenged! So I anyhow pointed in one direction and 不负责任-ly started to walk away. He hasten his step and started chatting me up.

Sickening, can someone infm him it is not a good idea to talk to a lady in the early morning when she obviously look sleep deprived, with dark circles and all? In the morning, when I met any colleagues on the shuttle bus I would also keep quiet.

I obviously can blabber when I have to, but in the morning I am usually a quiet and reserved and nice girl who dont scold nabei or fuck.

He kept his compliments coming and asked me for my name and ask me where I am working at, blah blah. Being nice like I always am, I answered his qns still but avoid personal questions of course. He said he is from california, and ask me have I been to the states or will I be going? (What? I look as sua ku as I actually am?!?)

Then he asked me for my contact number. I politely declined. He asked again, said meet up for coffee or something. I declined again. He just keep asking and asking until I feel my temper raising. I told him if he wants I can give him my email add, but not my hp number.

He said but he is in singapore on business trip and he has a local number. I rejected one last time, put on my hypocritical smile and walked away to the side of the road and crossed the road quickly.

Narrated it to obasan over lunch and she keep laughing and said I might have let slip an opportunity to be married overseas. Think too much le la!

Anyway, not racist or what, also not saying this because of the recent sedition saga, but I dowan to marry a malay or indian or ang mo or what. I am a cheena person and I can only relate to cheena peoplessss.

I like burning joss sticks, I like eating hokkien mee, I like to use 成语 and I like to spew cheem cheem mandarin. I dowan to be together with someone who cannot understand my mother tongue. 'Not proficient' and 'not comprehend' is two sets altogether. I can accept someone whose mandarin is lousy because of the lack of use, but cant accept not my other half not understanding completely.

If you ask me if malay or indian or angmo knows mandarin then can? I will still tell you cant, cos even as much as they can learn mandarin, they probably cant speak hokkien.

I am a downright sucker for a man who is effectively eloquent in english, mandarin and hokkien. Tell you I am a cheena le lor.

I know a few person who is like tt, but these people are cheena to start with. As in, their most comfortable language is mandarin, but their english and hokkien is also very 强.

Like me. Hahaha. Mm jia lan.

That is why I dismiss it with a laugh when obasan keep saying I should have grabbed the chance mah. I really want to find a local hao nan ren la.

Hao nan ren all go where already?

I know. All taken lor. Fuck.

And stupid lao da and andy always tell me to stop scolding vulgarities if not I will scare away all the nice guys. All nice guys cannot accept vulgarities meh. Where got this kind of theories one?

But also la, just to clarify myself, I dont string vulgarities into my daily conversation one hor. Only when I am super frustrated or pissed then I will 忍不住. Given such, a common person would not hear me spewing vulgarities la. If my future man is to not like me scolding nabei, and have expressed to me so, I will refrain from using it in front of him.

At the most I would rename everyone and everything. Nabeitraffic, nabeirain, nabeisinger, nabeirice, etc etc etc, you get the picture.

*sweet smile*

Is that a bee or wasp?

Think it is a bee la, but I also dont care. I am just very afraid of cockroaches, everything else, chey!~



It was crawling on the other side of the curtain in front of my computer, and when I saw the black shadow crawling by, I was so worried it was a cockroach because I am on leave today and I am the only one home.

But chey, just some irrelevant insect. But still, it flies and I dowan it to fly smack into my face, so I stood a safe 1 metre away, so cant capture the picture closeup.

But I cropped the picture.



Second picture is blurred I know, but I cant stop the stupid insect to stop flying can I?

When it finally found the open window after some 5 mins, it flew away. Sometimes I think we should get frosted or coloured glass at home, because we kept getting insects and birds flying into the house and they cant find the opening out later.

Once a small bird flew into the kitchen through a super small gap of the slightly ajar window. Then leh? It stupidly cant find the opening out and began to fly around the kitchen at top speed and keep ramming into the walls.

I tried to walk over to the windows but it kept attacking me with its minute beck. Siao one.

I finally got to the window and threw it open, and the dumb bird flew out.

In the first place fly in for what? There's nothing to it, unless it wants to fly into the sewage pipes and eat the cockroaches.


And yah, my purchases yesterday..




I like the neckline of the top, it is so unique! Dont tell me you saw it at this place that place before? I havent and I think it is one and only. How?

The skirt is turquoise with black prints. Flared skirt like I like it.

The pink clutch is pretty of course, I adore the huge buckle. I originally wanted to get it in black, but mashi keeps suaning me, say black is so auntie.

But I am auntie mah, nvm what. But ok la, pink is ok, cos I've got pink heels and pink earrings and pink skirts and pink tops. I think I shall get a pink belt, then wear it with a black top and a black skirt, then wear my pink heels and pink earrings.

Wha, should be a very nice combination. I like pink, but because my skin tone is near to fair with yellow tint, I am better in dark colours. So maybe it is really a good idea to keep buying black clothes, and wear colourful accessories. =)

No no no, I refused to feel guilty

I dunno how many times I've rant about this, but I am going to do it again!!!!!!!

I simply cant stand the fact that I've got to pay to for the service of scv and my singnet internet connection, but I cant use it when I want to!! What kind of rationale is that?

Repeatedly, I've said that I need to pay for the whole bill of my internet service (and that has been a good fucking 6 yrs at least!) and I've to pay for the basic channels of scv that everyone watches while my bro pays for his sports channel and channel 62.

These cost me more than $60 a mth.

To think of it, it is very boh hua lor, cos I reach home after 8 every working day, and I go out on wkends very often.

But it has been a long time habit of mine to log on to internet once I reached home. I would play comp games, check email, blog, read blogs, msn, read forums, read news, read gossips, learn about the latest beauty tips, yada yada yada.

On tv, these a lot of shows which I would like to watch, but because of the limited time I've have (8pm to 12pm usually), I can only use internet and watch tv at the same time.

That is also why I insisted that the computer to be moved to the living room. It used to be in my bro's room, for his convenience, no less. Now that the comp is in the living room, I can use my comp and listen to tv at the same time.

Yah la, this way I am not concentrating. But what to do? I dont have a lot of time on hands, so I have to properly ultilise all commercial breaks.

Of course I dont demand to watch every show because I dont pay for the entirety of the bill, I dont think it is nice to do that.

So there is just this show on scv channel 52 at 10.00pm that I MUST WATCH, unless the lai bin is someone whom I dont recognise.

Kang Xi Lai Le, that is, or kxll btw me and mashi.

But internet bill I pay one leh, why I cant use?

My younger bro uses the internet very often too, but he very zhi dong, he will let me use when I want to use. In the same tone, when he needs to use, I would still let him use la, but I will box him if he is just zoboh-ing on internet, or surfing net.

I always told him, he can always use internet between 3pm to 8pm. Why need to snatch my usage time? He has always been cooperative, so there isnt much issues between me and him.

It is my elder bro that I have an issue with. He insist to watch his sports channels when he returns on weekends. That I can accept, because like I say, he pay for them, but I really think there should be a healthy dose of give and take.

But no lor. He doesnt comprehend that concept. To him, he wants to watch means he wants to watch, he wants to use internet means he wants to use internet. No room for negotiation.

I am pissed when he does that. Just two days ago, on fri, he very guo-fen-ly watched channel 8 on the scv equipped tv at 10pm when he knows perfectly well that I want to watch kxll.


Very jian, cos

1. When we subscribe to scv, there was a free tv given and this tv is in HIS BEDROOM, and he can perfectly well watch the basic channels there.

2. Nobody doesnt know I MUST watch kxll. Even when my younger bro needs to watch something really really important, he will tell me way way way in advance, let me grumble for 5 days, then he will get to watch his show.

3. Unless I am out, or deliriously ill, I watch every episode of kxll, and every rerun that I can watch, and he knows that perfectly well.

4. He actually channel surf away from the show I was watching on channel 55 at 9plus. I was watching! Eyes openly watching! Watching leh! And he just surf away. He didnt surf over to see a soccer match score and surf back, excuse me, he just mindlessly surfed away as though I was just a spirit sitting there and he cant see me.

5. At 10pm, he loudly announced "yay!" And switched to his channel 8 show. The fucked thing is he "yay"-ed. I thought he was so nice to let me watch my kxll after snatching my earlier show (which I didnt really mind, cos nv watch tt serial also wont die).

6. I fumed! But I kept mostly quiet. I thought maybe he didnt realised, and that I shouldnt be so quick to condemn. So I retreated to a corner of the living room to read the papers. During the shi-wan-dun-qing-yuan show's commercial break, he switched channel back to kxll. I walked back to the front of tv, from my newspaper, and started to watch mayday's interview. I was laughing at one of their jokes where he abruptly switch back to shi-wan-dun-qing-yuan, again as though as I wasnt there.

7. So I went to his room and watch channel 8 news there about the dismembered maid. Finally he came into room and chased me out, saying he need to sleep. At 10.58, when kxll has JUST ENDED!!!!! He was actually sleeping in front of the tv, but refused to come back to his bedroom until he is confirmed that kxll is over!!! Kxll usually end at 10.56.


Ni shuo jian bu jian?

Jian hor?

I think so too.


Just now also lor, I want to watch tv AND use internet, and he demand me to choose between the two media. I chose tv, cos tmr I'm on leave and I can use internet tmr, no harm done.

He was surprised, as I usually chose the internet. So defeatedly, he took his keys and went to kopidiam to watch soccer there.

Now that I get to use both medias, I am not concentrating on the tv, but so!? Wo shuang leh!

I've already decided that, I shant be accomodating anymore, cos that just made him feel he can push me around. Fuck ar, lao niang pay lao niang get to use, especially the internet and the computer. Bu shuang then go and subscribe to his own internet service and buy his own comp lor.

If he havent realise, letting him use the comp is purely out of my goodwill ok, I can jolly well dont let him use by changing internet password, or deleting his user on the comp (cos I am the administrator.)

I may be taking things a little too far here, but he has never been kind anyway.

Nay nay nay.



***
Tomorrow I am on leave, I shall take pics of my buys today. I've bought a skirt, a top and a bag and 4 cheap masks.

I've got a lot of things that I want to do tmr, but taking leave is for me to rest, so I think I will be dumping all clothes into the washing machine to wash, then don a facial mask. I think I shant even go out for meals, so maybe I shall just call for pizza hut or macdonald.

Today I went singing again. I happily declare a few more songs that I sing very well, but these are the songs which I cant sing in front of guys I like, cos my face are all crunched together when I try to hit the pitches of "rang ai gu ding xia lai, wo he ni, yong yuan bu yao fen kai..."

And I am still trying to master "ai bu shi si xin ta di, jiu you jie ju~..."

Xie xie~~ Wo hui jia you de~~ Haha.

Flowers at millenia walk

There's a flower arrangement competition that was held at millenia walk, and I kay-poh-ly went to take pics of some of the masterpieces.


Some works in general.



The top 3 winners, from left to right.
1st: Liao Jiaman, St Maragaret's Secondary School
2nd: Nurul Huda, Tanjong Katong Secondary School
3rd: Neo Chi Fang, Victoria Junior College



There is also a giant sunflower piece that I adore. I like the scale of the work, so big that you cant miss it, and sunflowers are one of my favourite flowers (even before they become so popular).

The reason why the lighting effects in the two pics is so differed is because of where I was standing when I was taking the pics. I always take pictures without flash so I rely largely on the natural given lightings.

Mai hiam!



Other than the winners, these are my favourite pieces. =) Sorry never take the names of the hands behind these beautiful pieces because a stupid man was intimidating me with his giantic manual camera. Kapui!







And I thought I took a lot of pics leh. But dun have, just this few leh. Qi guai.

If only I had loads of money

I would take taxi to work everyday. I shant buy a car because that means I have to go thru the stress of driving.

I will not learn to drive, then I neednt worry about knocking down pedestrains and animals that marathon across the road, and neednt worry about lang ga because I cannot trust myself with machineries.

If I've got the money, I will definately take taxi every day. In that way, I will never have to take public transport again. Of course since I had SO much money, I will dial a cab. I shall never have to wait for a cab.

Public transport sucks.

I take mrt to work everyday and bus home.

I live at zuulorng and work at por duay. The mrt journey will take me around 25 minutes from je mrt to city hall mrt. But because I have to walk to mrt, and from mrt walk to take free shuttle bus to work, yada yada, the journey to work will take me 60 minutes.

After work I will take 97 home, the journey itself will take 1 hr, but I would need to wait for the stupid bus and walk home after alighting. The whole trip will take 80 minutes at least.

But if lao niang take taxi leh? 30 minutes.

See how much of my youth is wasted on travelling? Whenever I board public transport I will either lapse into a blank look, or catch 20 winks instead of 40. I cant read, cant write, cant do much else, so I can only listen to music and try to catch up on sleep, among fellow bus passengers.

Having to share seats with strangers at such close proximity is the worst part of taking transport, especially when the whole world is made up of so many people with so many weird habits.


Those who smells
Excessively sweet or excessively sweaty or excessively anything also I cannot tahan. It is peculiar why cant people go easy on the amt of perfume they wear. Perfume no need money to buy one issit? You just drop a pail into the well and can get the quantity necessary for 1 day?

I am allergic to perfume, so whenever I smell strong perfume smells I would whip out my shang piao you and sprinkle some droplets in the air in a guan yin manner.

Some people smells of sweat so badly it feels like they are in a permanently motion of shedding water thru their pores. Sweat on it's own doesnt smell bad, but sweat dried and damped and dried and damped it truly a nose-opening experience. Of course being superficial, I must say if it is a shuai ge who looks like he just finished a 5km run, I wouldnt mind half as much.

But if it a man, decently dressed, but stinks like hell, I would have the urge to poke you in the eye with a teck gou.

Half the time, these people are also dressed in faded-colour clothes that have dirt stains. One look in their direction and you inevitably wrinkle your nose.

There are also people who smells so unique that you can put a finger to it. -_-" On two separate occasions, I've met with people who smell this way. People say that is the smell of unwashed clothes, but I really have got no idea.

Thank god so far I have met such people on public transport yet.

But luckily because the buses I ever took are always very cold, so my nose are always in a permanent blocked state.


Those who stared
These people are obviously too free and dunno what else to do to the time they have while they are travelling. I slept a large part of time while travelling, I get woke up when the dear bus driver decided to dodge every cockroach on the road.

Whenever I wake up I will do a quick check to confirm I dont have saliva dripping down my mouth. Once I am sure, I will raise my head and look around and outside the bus to orientate myself.

With my many years of experience of sleeping on public transport, I've mastered not dripping salivas and not drooping my head to my neighbour's shoulder. (Unless I am absolutely stoned after not sleeping for 48 hours.)

Almost every time, I'll catch someone looking at me. I like to park myself in those long rows of seats near the back of the bus, where the seats faced each other.

Whenever I catch someone looking at me, I will just stare back, and hold the glance until the person look away. Because I look very rude, so far I havent met with anyone who win me in this stupid staring game.

Dont these people have any idea that it is super rude to stare? I will recycle the teck gou and poke your eyes one after another ok!!


Those who play musical chairs
I am guilty of this action, but I will never do it when the bus is packed. I have a few seats on the bus where I would always sit at, but in case a single deck bus came instead, I would shuffle seats a few times until I've found a comfortable spot.

But I will never change seats if it would unreasonably disturbed the peace of someone else.

So why is it some people like to move seats again and again and again. Playing musical chairs hor? Having fun?


Those who has daddy long legs
I am not jealous that they have long legs, not very jealous at least, so ignore me when you saw me carrying chainsaw onto mrt or buses.

It is strange how there are some people who cant sit up straight. No wonder there are so many people with crooked spines. I detest it when people prop their legs against the back of my seats on the bus. Sit up straight you people!

And I feel the people who cross their legs on mrt at an exaggerated angle is, well, bu hui zhi dong. The morning crowd in mrt are always rushing for time, so many people will load onto each train that arrives. To the lucky who have never taken mrt during peak hours, I congratuate you. That means you have never seen the ugliness.

My friends recoil in horror when I re-enact some of the scenes that happens in the trains.

Anyway, was saying that there are some ladies who like to cross their legs at such unusual angles that it is affecting everyone standing in front of them.

Their legs are kicked so far out from them I suspect they are harbouring chickens in their knee pits.

Please, ladies, retract your legs. I am already pissed that you have a seat and I dont, stop causing me to not even have room to stand.


Those who eats
I confess to eating sweets on transportation, but at least I dont eat french fries or curry puffs or orange hor.


Those who died on me
Dead asleep I mean. Although I die on people sometimes, but that will only occur when I hadnt slept for very many hours. Some people just dont have the basic courtesy to keep their heads to themselves one leh. If you know you have the bad habit of dying on people, choose a window seat and masking-tape your head to the glass please.

(Although I say that, I will never rest on the windows because they are super dirty. Yucks.)

It is not possible that one doesnt know that he/she is resting on the neighbour's shoulder if he/she has the basic sense of paiseh-ness. So if one knows he/she is treating stranger's shoulders as free pillows, for goodness sake dont sleep on public transport. Watch the stupid tv mobile la.


Those who sits too near
I have a big butt, so I take up the full space of a given bus seat/mrt seat. Once I've sat down I will check to make sure I am sitting within the allocated space because I will be sleeping and I dont want to shift my butt once I am asleep.

So why is it that I can do that, but there are ladies who like to squeeze their butts over? Dont they know like that very kuey sio?

One classic example was, there was once I took mrt from bugis to jurong point and I was with mashi. There was this malay family sitting to my left, consisting of a father, a mother and 2 kids. The mother was sitting to my immediate left, and the rest of that family played musical chairs.

This mother suddenly realised there was something interesting outside the train and turn around to look out of the window behind us. By normal rights, you just turn your neck and head right? She didnt, she invaded my seat by reversing her butt into my seat.

I could only squash against mashi but I couldnt retaliate because I've lost my voice then. (Super suay!) I was so irritated that I could only silently stand up (ok la, I tsk-ed very loudly, that was all that I could manage with my linguistic abilities muted.), and guess what she did? She happily took over my seat and spanned her body mass across 2 seats.

If you think that was all, it wasnt, she began to squash mashi. I think it is her conspiracy to squeeze everyone off their seats then laugh muahahahahaha while all of us -_-"...


Those who talks too loudly
Ark-cusme!! I do not want to hear your conversation on your hp! I dont want to hear you laugh at a joke that I cant hear and I dont want to hear your how your boss sucks. I dont want to know how much you love your gf nor do I want to know what movie is showing at cineleisure.

Keep that to yourself, or if you have to talk in public, pls ensure you have a voice as nice as mine first. Whahahahaha.

Other than hp users, I also cant stand it when two girls chat so loudly in the bus that it miraculously drowns out the racket from the tv mobile. *Talk talk giggle giggle laugh talk talk talk laugh giggle giggle giggle* I can only wish they will alight quick.

Or a group of jc students who board the bus while engaging in a debate. Their constant noises burns a hole through my head as my limited grey matters drips out.


Those who runaway from home
If you decided to spent $2000 on a brand new computer, please spend another $20 to take taxi home. If you decided you need to buy a broom or a mop, and die die have to take bus or mrt home, can you please buy your stuff during normal working hrs? Take transport ard 3pm in the afternoon where there is plenty of space for you to wield your weapons.


Those who bounce on chair
The very worst kind! Can you people sit down gently on buses? Especially when you see the person who is already seated is fast asleep? Can dont bounce on the chair in a jii-ba-boom motion? Bian tai one leh.

Not asking you to sit down like a sissy, but as long as you dont plonk into the seat it is good enough already. Remember the fright you will give to the person who is already seated!!



Ok, finally finish listing. I took 2 nights to complete this super long entries. I am sleepy, going to sleep le.


***
Ar!! V is going to be enlisted later at 8.30am. All the best to this xiao shuai ge. =)

2 things.

1***
She's back! Theangrylittlegirl, she is. =)
*Waves to alg*


2***
I've realised I've been giving wrong information to many people. JJ and ah du not in universal, but wilber and energy is. Alan tam and the late leslie cheung is too.
(I've tou tou went to correct my previous entry already, change jj's name to wilber's name. Hee)

Kelly lost

I love the results.

1. It is obvious that kelly won the judges' favour
2. The runner up will join universal, and be junior to wilber

Yay!~!! What else need I say? =)

***

Most people I know support kelly more than weilian. I've been enjoying her singing, together with derrick's. So I was super pissed when they were both booted out of the competition, but was very relieved when they returned to 10 qiang.

Other then them two, I like xin hui's, chanel's, jun yang's and weicong's singing.

But I had always openly been gushing over derrick's and kelly's performance.

I am a merely a spectator, and I have my own favoured contestants, and contestants that I cant stand. I dont like jason, but I think his singing has improved over the competitions.

I dont like silver, but I think she looks really sweet.

Although I can be very biased towards contestants that I support, I am not very against those tt I dislike.

So I do not understand why I've got friends who feel so what if kelly win today, she should never had won xin hui to make it to the finals. Xin hui performed better, yada yada yada.

As per all the previous rounds, one female and one male contestant is booted each wk, but because earlier when there are more people in each rounds, no one can pin point who was the one with the second least votes.

For example, when junyang, derrick and weilian were the last 3 males standing, junyang successfully went to the next stage and btw derrick and weilian, one will lose.

When derrick kissed goodbye to the competition, immediately people would think weilian caused derrick to lose. But I just felt that derrick didnt win they two. There is a difference, cos derrick didnt lose because jy and wl won (that round), he lost because he didnt win.

Back to xinhui. I like her singing. She sings well. For certain songs, she might even be singing better than kelly. But kelly has her own set of songs that she can showcase beautifully. It is just unfortunate that there can only be one winner between the girls, and kelly won.

The two of them are just different what. Quoting tao zhe, how do you compare apples to oranges?

And if you feel that kelly shouldnt even make it to the finals, have you ever considered that given xinhui's earlier performance, she should be booted long ago. She might not even be able to make it to top 10.

Kelly was just unfortunate that she lost the quarters (after which she won revival round again and return to the competiton) back then. But if anyone can still remember, xinhui's performance of fir's revolution was appalling, but she successfully moved to the next stage still ar. By right she should have been eliminated what, based on performance remember?

The whole show had never been purely made up of professional views. It is not like 3/4 into the show the producers change their mind or something. It has been like tt all along what. If I die die dowan derrick to lose, I may jolly well go borrow 20k from loansharks and call his voting line repeatedly to support him.

But I never did, and when his existance on the competition expired, I felt it was a pity, but nonetheless I still think his performance had been very good.

So to all of you who thinks kelly shouldnt make it to finals, or is snickering tt orbi she lost to weilian, pls remember if based purely on performance, xinhui should be booted in the earlier stages already. Chanel for one, sang better than her at that stage.

But of course, like I stressed, xinhui's improvement is really by leaps and bounds. So much so that comparatively kelly didnt improve much. I admire kelly, but I am in awe of xinhui's developement of her singing techniques and skills. If I can still be adoring xinhui, why are you slamming kelly simply because you are a xinhui's supporter?

*shakes head*

Kelly's performance today has been good. I like her rendition of sha tan, but I feel her he yin tian shi sang a little too loud. They are really drowning out kelly's voice. But then again, maybe they are singing louder so that kelly can catch the rhythmn better. *shrugs*

I like how she is using her voice to compliment JJ's singing. She is a competitor, she should be grabbing every chance to flaunt her vocals, but yet she is more of using her voice to compliment him. I like it.

I worship how she smoothly delivered bei ai de nuu ren. Beautiful.

Her first song, yan se, was ok, but I think maybe because havent 'kai sang zi'. Her voice steadied as the show progressed. Like I was telling my mum yesterday, if kelly wants to perform well today, she dont need more practice, she probably need a good 8 hr sleep and give her body a chance to recuperate. When she sang yan se, I felt she must be either too tired, or too nervous.

On my way is ok too. I dont like song on a whole. It sounded like a song that was randomly strummed up as an artiste is being tested of his song writing skills on those taiwanese variety shows. I think the tempo very weird, but it is supposed to be very weird so that it can trip kelly. Lws wrote the song, and said she didnt miss her tempo, so I am taking as that she did the song well la.

Wha, cant stand myself, make myself sound like a professional yue pin ren. Really no la. I cant even sing well enough. But then again, I've listen to hundreds of chinese songs, so I'm definately a long time listener. I am not saying my opinions is correct, but it is honest. I am not slamming without reason, not marveling without reason either.

***

I am sleepy, but I still have to blog this part.

I am glad that kelly lost, also because before the results are out, it is already obvious that kelly won the favour of the judges. 4 out of 5 times, she was deemed as better than weilian, among which, twice she won quan mian dao.

True, she might won not because she is good, but because weilian didnt do well today. All the same, I am very happy she lost although the judges like her. Meaning she gao piao luo xuan.

Throughout the competition, there were more losers than winners. As much as xinhui and junyang might deny, they definately felt unjustified when they were eliminated though they scored higher points in the finals.

As much as xinhui says their friendship is more important than the competition, she confirm still feels the sting.

As more and more people lost throught the competition, they quickly formed cliches and I bet they bitch about the contestants still in the show.

Now that kelly lost, she would be accepted into those cliches I believe. She is no more the winner and "on the other side". Maybe because what she said about her not having many friends striking a chord in me, so I found myself hoping that she wont win the grand finals so that she will be able to join the "losers". Hope that people would bear less animosity towards her as they accept her in a collective hug as she is being tagged as yet another "gao piao luo xuan".

Quite crappy I know. Haha. But dont have friends really very cham leh. I already dun have much friends already, yet I keep being angry with them, or pissed with them, and not speak to them. Zhen gai si.


***

One last part before I drop dead asleep. Kelly lost means she will be joining universal, and be wilber's junior. They two are famous in taiwan, so I bet kelly can get off to a good start. Weilian will be signed to play music. If they decide to promote his vocals and not him, they already have a ready-made formula.

Copy and paste can le.

***

I am really going to sleep le la! It's 1.30am now. Shit! Luckily tmr is fri.

20 more minutes

To the announcement of results of who is the superstar.

I hope kelly lose.

I love her singing, but I hope she will lose, become another gao piao luo xuan.

Will post why later, after the results are released. Just 20 minutes! Kelly's performance is superby superb. =)