No no no, I refused to feel guilty

I dunno how many times I've rant about this, but I am going to do it again!!!!!!!

I simply cant stand the fact that I've got to pay to for the service of scv and my singnet internet connection, but I cant use it when I want to!! What kind of rationale is that?

Repeatedly, I've said that I need to pay for the whole bill of my internet service (and that has been a good fucking 6 yrs at least!) and I've to pay for the basic channels of scv that everyone watches while my bro pays for his sports channel and channel 62.

These cost me more than $60 a mth.

To think of it, it is very boh hua lor, cos I reach home after 8 every working day, and I go out on wkends very often.

But it has been a long time habit of mine to log on to internet once I reached home. I would play comp games, check email, blog, read blogs, msn, read forums, read news, read gossips, learn about the latest beauty tips, yada yada yada.

On tv, these a lot of shows which I would like to watch, but because of the limited time I've have (8pm to 12pm usually), I can only use internet and watch tv at the same time.

That is also why I insisted that the computer to be moved to the living room. It used to be in my bro's room, for his convenience, no less. Now that the comp is in the living room, I can use my comp and listen to tv at the same time.

Yah la, this way I am not concentrating. But what to do? I dont have a lot of time on hands, so I have to properly ultilise all commercial breaks.

Of course I dont demand to watch every show because I dont pay for the entirety of the bill, I dont think it is nice to do that.

So there is just this show on scv channel 52 at 10.00pm that I MUST WATCH, unless the lai bin is someone whom I dont recognise.

Kang Xi Lai Le, that is, or kxll btw me and mashi.

But internet bill I pay one leh, why I cant use?

My younger bro uses the internet very often too, but he very zhi dong, he will let me use when I want to use. In the same tone, when he needs to use, I would still let him use la, but I will box him if he is just zoboh-ing on internet, or surfing net.

I always told him, he can always use internet between 3pm to 8pm. Why need to snatch my usage time? He has always been cooperative, so there isnt much issues between me and him.

It is my elder bro that I have an issue with. He insist to watch his sports channels when he returns on weekends. That I can accept, because like I say, he pay for them, but I really think there should be a healthy dose of give and take.

But no lor. He doesnt comprehend that concept. To him, he wants to watch means he wants to watch, he wants to use internet means he wants to use internet. No room for negotiation.

I am pissed when he does that. Just two days ago, on fri, he very guo-fen-ly watched channel 8 on the scv equipped tv at 10pm when he knows perfectly well that I want to watch kxll.


Very jian, cos

1. When we subscribe to scv, there was a free tv given and this tv is in HIS BEDROOM, and he can perfectly well watch the basic channels there.

2. Nobody doesnt know I MUST watch kxll. Even when my younger bro needs to watch something really really important, he will tell me way way way in advance, let me grumble for 5 days, then he will get to watch his show.

3. Unless I am out, or deliriously ill, I watch every episode of kxll, and every rerun that I can watch, and he knows that perfectly well.

4. He actually channel surf away from the show I was watching on channel 55 at 9plus. I was watching! Eyes openly watching! Watching leh! And he just surf away. He didnt surf over to see a soccer match score and surf back, excuse me, he just mindlessly surfed away as though I was just a spirit sitting there and he cant see me.

5. At 10pm, he loudly announced "yay!" And switched to his channel 8 show. The fucked thing is he "yay"-ed. I thought he was so nice to let me watch my kxll after snatching my earlier show (which I didnt really mind, cos nv watch tt serial also wont die).

6. I fumed! But I kept mostly quiet. I thought maybe he didnt realised, and that I shouldnt be so quick to condemn. So I retreated to a corner of the living room to read the papers. During the shi-wan-dun-qing-yuan show's commercial break, he switched channel back to kxll. I walked back to the front of tv, from my newspaper, and started to watch mayday's interview. I was laughing at one of their jokes where he abruptly switch back to shi-wan-dun-qing-yuan, again as though as I wasnt there.

7. So I went to his room and watch channel 8 news there about the dismembered maid. Finally he came into room and chased me out, saying he need to sleep. At 10.58, when kxll has JUST ENDED!!!!! He was actually sleeping in front of the tv, but refused to come back to his bedroom until he is confirmed that kxll is over!!! Kxll usually end at 10.56.


Ni shuo jian bu jian?

Jian hor?

I think so too.


Just now also lor, I want to watch tv AND use internet, and he demand me to choose between the two media. I chose tv, cos tmr I'm on leave and I can use internet tmr, no harm done.

He was surprised, as I usually chose the internet. So defeatedly, he took his keys and went to kopidiam to watch soccer there.

Now that I get to use both medias, I am not concentrating on the tv, but so!? Wo shuang leh!

I've already decided that, I shant be accomodating anymore, cos that just made him feel he can push me around. Fuck ar, lao niang pay lao niang get to use, especially the internet and the computer. Bu shuang then go and subscribe to his own internet service and buy his own comp lor.

If he havent realise, letting him use the comp is purely out of my goodwill ok, I can jolly well dont let him use by changing internet password, or deleting his user on the comp (cos I am the administrator.)

I may be taking things a little too far here, but he has never been kind anyway.

Nay nay nay.



***
Tomorrow I am on leave, I shall take pics of my buys today. I've bought a skirt, a top and a bag and 4 cheap masks.

I've got a lot of things that I want to do tmr, but taking leave is for me to rest, so I think I will be dumping all clothes into the washing machine to wash, then don a facial mask. I think I shant even go out for meals, so maybe I shall just call for pizza hut or macdonald.

Today I went singing again. I happily declare a few more songs that I sing very well, but these are the songs which I cant sing in front of guys I like, cos my face are all crunched together when I try to hit the pitches of "rang ai gu ding xia lai, wo he ni, yong yuan bu yao fen kai..."

And I am still trying to master "ai bu shi si xin ta di, jiu you jie ju~..."

Xie xie~~ Wo hui jia you de~~ Haha.