My class's lecturer is a sculptor who teaches part time at a few institutes. I think he is very appalled by the overall standard in the class, for all of us does not have an art background.
(But I do guess I have a slight edge cos I was an art student and I am a designer. Yet this may prove to be causing my fall because I tend to over-think simple matters.)
For the first lesson, CK arranged us to do drawing.
But instead of the usual still life, he wanted us to look at a picture of an animal, and imagine the animal in cubes, spheres, cylinders and cones.
In short, breaking the body structure into simple forms.
It is really in such a class lesson where I realise how short my attention span is. While he is teaching, I listened attentively, and began to form an idea in my mind of what I want to draw.
CK did an example using an elephant, and not unusual to my nature to oppose, I chose an ostrich, an animal which is totally different from the one that picked for an example.
Actually, I didnt deliberately made that choice. But I saw my classmates poring over the books of various animals and couldnt decide, and again, probably due to job nature, I decided to choose whatever that I happen to browse to, and ended in the ostrich section.
Oh, I digressed.
I was saying my attention span is really short, as seen in the fact that I can be putting in effort for a minute, then the next minute I am already doodling crap.
My drawing was fine except the last few lines that I drew, which by then I lost concentration. CK thought I began with that few wrong strokes, and commended that other sections of the drawings.
I've got a classmate whom cannot draw 3d objects, thus making it very difficult for her to draw the animal in the way CK wants. I think this classmate is probably stronger in hands on like what CK suggested, but I feel bad for her that she is trying so hard but her drawing really cannot make the low standard that CK set.
Having said that, I must thank my secondary school art teacher again. The foundation she built in me allowed me to pick up drawing techniques quite easily. If I ever made it to be an art teacher, I definitely would teach my students the way she taught me.
We would be doing a trial sculpture next wk. I'm tentatively choosing a fox as my subject. But I am thinking of doing a crab instead, because it meant more to me.
Hmmm.. That means I have to do drawings of crabs this wkend. =) Drawing is fun!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Afterthoughts
I'm on my way home after my first sculpture lesson.
For some reason, I'm absolutely starving although I should be already used to not having dinner on time.
Anyway, the class is very small, with only 7 students.
The age group varies, but half of the 6 is near my age, so it didnt matter.
Actually it shouldnt matter at all, because all of us are there to learn, not to make friends.
More about the class later.
For some reason, I'm absolutely starving although I should be already used to not having dinner on time.
Anyway, the class is very small, with only 7 students.
The age group varies, but half of the 6 is near my age, so it didnt matter.
Actually it shouldnt matter at all, because all of us are there to learn, not to make friends.
More about the class later.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Talking to the boss
I had a hectic day today (well, which day isnt? *rolls eyes*) and I was smoking a cig every half an hour.
To a hardcore smoker, this is chicken, but I seldom smoke so much in a short span of time.
I had a client who had a ridiculous timeline for me and I had to rush out work. I spent sunday working on this layout and another one yday at work. My first option eventually got amended by my manager much to my irritation, but luckily the design of the reception area reminds mainly untouched.
Amending drawings always pissed me off because sometime what my manager says really doesnt make sense but I cant reject doing the job according to her ideas.
She scares me sometimes. Some of her ideas are brilliant while others stink. She seldom have ideas that is in between though.
I digressed. I meant to say I had a hectic afternoon and it didnt help when my boss announced that a fellow colleague, the one who hates his job, had just gotten confirmed and reminded us to get him to treat us lunch soon, seeing that he received a pay adjustment upon confirmation.
I think I've never blogged about it before, but I didnt get my pay adjustment upon my confirmation because my 2nd tier boss said that it is the company policy (suddenly in place) that no one would get an adjustment until cny, where we would get our bonus too.
He explained that things dont work the same anymore, though it was a mere 3 mths prior to that when he spoke to me during my interview that an adjustment is definite.
I was fuming, but I still got my work done. I brought it to my 3rd tier boss's room, left it, and then went for another smoking break. When I could feel my anger subsiding with some time away from work, I went back to the boss.
I started the conversation asking him about work. And then I got into topic.
K : Boss, can I talk to you for a minute?
B : (Stops working though he's out of time) Yes?
K : I dont mean to be rude, but can I ask you one qn?
B : What happen? Tell me, it's ok!
(My boss cares a lot about boss-employee relationship. Or at least that's what he always claim... I usually believe him, but let's see this time.)
K : P got confirmed right? And he received an adjustment?
B : Yes.... (suspicious) why?
K : Well I didnt get mine at my confirmation.
B : How can that be?
K : Well it's true. During interview, [2nd tier boss] said that I would receive a pay adjustment upoin confirmation. But at confirmation, he said that nobody will get adjustments anymore until cny.
B: Actually I am not sure, because for your team I leave it to him to arrange.
K : I really dont mean to be rude, and I can accept your reason if you have a good one. But it doesnt make sense to be that CM, TH, EB, C, TX, W, H and now P all get their adjustment but I am the only missed out. Can I have an reason for it?
B : Dont worry, I will look into it. I left it to [2nd tier boss] and sometimes he will forget things. Rest assured that I will check it out.
K : Thanks boss.
I told mashi later, that if the boss have a VERY VERY VERY good explaination for me, and refused to up my pay, I would accept it too. But this explanation must be DAMN good before I will consider.
It is not the fact about pay being low. It is the fact that they overlooked me! I dont overlook my work do I? As a matter of fact, even if I am not the best employee in the company, I should easily made it into the top quarter!
So why is it that the rest got their rewards and I got deprived?
I told mashi I will give the boss some time to act it out. I've decided to give him approx 1 mth, which would also mark the 1 year mark of my confirmation (which is on 3rd aug). If I do not get an answer from him, I will begin to reject work that I know will eat into my personal time, and will plan leave during the peak of the industry.
We shall see what happens.
To a hardcore smoker, this is chicken, but I seldom smoke so much in a short span of time.
I had a client who had a ridiculous timeline for me and I had to rush out work. I spent sunday working on this layout and another one yday at work. My first option eventually got amended by my manager much to my irritation, but luckily the design of the reception area reminds mainly untouched.
Amending drawings always pissed me off because sometime what my manager says really doesnt make sense but I cant reject doing the job according to her ideas.
She scares me sometimes. Some of her ideas are brilliant while others stink. She seldom have ideas that is in between though.
I digressed. I meant to say I had a hectic afternoon and it didnt help when my boss announced that a fellow colleague, the one who hates his job, had just gotten confirmed and reminded us to get him to treat us lunch soon, seeing that he received a pay adjustment upon confirmation.
I think I've never blogged about it before, but I didnt get my pay adjustment upon my confirmation because my 2nd tier boss said that it is the company policy (suddenly in place) that no one would get an adjustment until cny, where we would get our bonus too.
He explained that things dont work the same anymore, though it was a mere 3 mths prior to that when he spoke to me during my interview that an adjustment is definite.
I was fuming, but I still got my work done. I brought it to my 3rd tier boss's room, left it, and then went for another smoking break. When I could feel my anger subsiding with some time away from work, I went back to the boss.
I started the conversation asking him about work. And then I got into topic.
K : Boss, can I talk to you for a minute?
B : (Stops working though he's out of time) Yes?
K : I dont mean to be rude, but can I ask you one qn?
B : What happen? Tell me, it's ok!
(My boss cares a lot about boss-employee relationship. Or at least that's what he always claim... I usually believe him, but let's see this time.)
K : P got confirmed right? And he received an adjustment?
B : Yes.... (suspicious) why?
K : Well I didnt get mine at my confirmation.
B : How can that be?
K : Well it's true. During interview, [2nd tier boss] said that I would receive a pay adjustment upoin confirmation. But at confirmation, he said that nobody will get adjustments anymore until cny.
B: Actually I am not sure, because for your team I leave it to him to arrange.
K : I really dont mean to be rude, and I can accept your reason if you have a good one. But it doesnt make sense to be that CM, TH, EB, C, TX, W, H and now P all get their adjustment but I am the only missed out. Can I have an reason for it?
B : Dont worry, I will look into it. I left it to [2nd tier boss] and sometimes he will forget things. Rest assured that I will check it out.
K : Thanks boss.
I told mashi later, that if the boss have a VERY VERY VERY good explaination for me, and refused to up my pay, I would accept it too. But this explanation must be DAMN good before I will consider.
It is not the fact about pay being low. It is the fact that they overlooked me! I dont overlook my work do I? As a matter of fact, even if I am not the best employee in the company, I should easily made it into the top quarter!
So why is it that the rest got their rewards and I got deprived?
I told mashi I will give the boss some time to act it out. I've decided to give him approx 1 mth, which would also mark the 1 year mark of my confirmation (which is on 3rd aug). If I do not get an answer from him, I will begin to reject work that I know will eat into my personal time, and will plan leave during the peak of the industry.
We shall see what happens.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Fucking poor
My salary is so fucking low that I'm devastated.
I don't have the energy to work another job, but I really need more money.
Anybody have an suggestion for me on what I can do?
I don't have the energy to work another job, but I really need more money.
Anybody have an suggestion for me on what I can do?
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Colleague who hates this job
I know I sound contradicting about my take on my job, and it seems like I am schizophrenically adoring and detesting my job minute to minute.
To speak the truth, I cannot apprehend it either. I hate it how I have to work beyond my working hours, which eats menacingly into my personal time; but at the same time I treasure the job satisfaction I get from this career.
While I grumble non stop about working at home, sometimes I have to admit that I work better away from work, in the comfort of my house. I tend to come up with better ideas and concepts, and then bloat with pride.
I've got a colleague whom is in the IT dept, and by calling it dept, I think I am misleading you. He is the only person in this dept because hallo~ how many IT man you need in one small company?
Because all of us are quite tech-savvy to begin with, we dont really need his help most of the time. Hence he dont have much work to do, and never have to do ot like the rest of us do.
And remember I mentioned before that my company policy is "do what you want, just get your work done"? He took it upon himself to test the system, coming in later and later, as though he is trying to see at which point will the boss explode a grenade in his face.
It shouldnt involve me, but because he sits just a couple of rows away from me, and with his back towards me, I can see that he is surfing net every single day. I am working my ass off, trying to clear my pile of work, while he would be mindlessly surfing friendster and youtube.
The sense of unfairness really bugs me. I am this busy but he is getting to paid to surf net? What the hell?
Recently he began to complain to us that he wants to quit. His explanation is that he is too bored here and he wanted a more challenging job. But seeing him doing his job so tiredly makes me wonder whether is it because he hates this job, or he hates work on a general whole.
I secretly think it is the latter. He seems like one of those who has no ambition in life, with his only goal to be earning big money, but not knowing how to go about building his monetary empire.
It affects me adversely, seeing how much he hates this company. I dont like this place lots either, but seeing how he loath this company, and him being too vocal about it, makes me feel irritated.
Once a friend told me that she has a colleague who does the same jobscope as herself, and this colleague never put in effort at work. He would do the bare minimum, and refused to go one single step further for his job. He reaches work late, but leaves promptly at 6, and let whatever that cannot be completed hang in the air until the next day when he have the mood to do, or until my friends couldnt stand it anymore and did it overnight, whichever comes first.
This friend holds a similar working attitude to me, believing that working this ridiculously hard is not only for the company, but mainly for ourselves. We will eventually leave this place, and what we want is to join another place with a glowing testimonial.
She confessed to me that seeing this colleague taking work so nonchalantly made herself felt insulted. This colleague is treating a job that she loves like dirt, and this made my friend thoroughly pissed.
I am not that extreme. I dont feel insulted by this IT person, but I certainly feel pissed as well at his blatant display of despise for this company, and us who are working hard for the company.
Sigh, if he really hate this place, then he should leave.
Go ahead and slack at home, who gives a damn?
To speak the truth, I cannot apprehend it either. I hate it how I have to work beyond my working hours, which eats menacingly into my personal time; but at the same time I treasure the job satisfaction I get from this career.
While I grumble non stop about working at home, sometimes I have to admit that I work better away from work, in the comfort of my house. I tend to come up with better ideas and concepts, and then bloat with pride.
I've got a colleague whom is in the IT dept, and by calling it dept, I think I am misleading you. He is the only person in this dept because hallo~ how many IT man you need in one small company?
Because all of us are quite tech-savvy to begin with, we dont really need his help most of the time. Hence he dont have much work to do, and never have to do ot like the rest of us do.
And remember I mentioned before that my company policy is "do what you want, just get your work done"? He took it upon himself to test the system, coming in later and later, as though he is trying to see at which point will the boss explode a grenade in his face.
It shouldnt involve me, but because he sits just a couple of rows away from me, and with his back towards me, I can see that he is surfing net every single day. I am working my ass off, trying to clear my pile of work, while he would be mindlessly surfing friendster and youtube.
The sense of unfairness really bugs me. I am this busy but he is getting to paid to surf net? What the hell?
Recently he began to complain to us that he wants to quit. His explanation is that he is too bored here and he wanted a more challenging job. But seeing him doing his job so tiredly makes me wonder whether is it because he hates this job, or he hates work on a general whole.
I secretly think it is the latter. He seems like one of those who has no ambition in life, with his only goal to be earning big money, but not knowing how to go about building his monetary empire.
It affects me adversely, seeing how much he hates this company. I dont like this place lots either, but seeing how he loath this company, and him being too vocal about it, makes me feel irritated.
Once a friend told me that she has a colleague who does the same jobscope as herself, and this colleague never put in effort at work. He would do the bare minimum, and refused to go one single step further for his job. He reaches work late, but leaves promptly at 6, and let whatever that cannot be completed hang in the air until the next day when he have the mood to do, or until my friends couldnt stand it anymore and did it overnight, whichever comes first.
This friend holds a similar working attitude to me, believing that working this ridiculously hard is not only for the company, but mainly for ourselves. We will eventually leave this place, and what we want is to join another place with a glowing testimonial.
She confessed to me that seeing this colleague taking work so nonchalantly made herself felt insulted. This colleague is treating a job that she loves like dirt, and this made my friend thoroughly pissed.
I am not that extreme. I dont feel insulted by this IT person, but I certainly feel pissed as well at his blatant display of despise for this company, and us who are working hard for the company.
Sigh, if he really hate this place, then he should leave.
Go ahead and slack at home, who gives a damn?
Burnt wkend
Bloody hell.
Doing work at home again.
I'm damn tired. I think I am not going to finish it, until tuesday late morning, then get colleagues to rush out quotations in 4 hours.
I know that sounds mean, but hallo, isnt it worse for me to slog the wkend to try to pass it to them early, when they are not appreciative at all?
Bloody hell. Dont give a damn. Anyway, have to show manager too, and if she dont come in before 10am on tuesday, it is not like I can finish finalising before noon.
Aww.. too bad, they just have to rush.
Doing work at home again.
I'm damn tired. I think I am not going to finish it, until tuesday late morning, then get colleagues to rush out quotations in 4 hours.
I know that sounds mean, but hallo, isnt it worse for me to slog the wkend to try to pass it to them early, when they are not appreciative at all?
Bloody hell. Dont give a damn. Anyway, have to show manager too, and if she dont come in before 10am on tuesday, it is not like I can finish finalising before noon.
Aww.. too bad, they just have to rush.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
My company
You may already know that I work in a design company, but maybe I hadnt said much about this place I work in, and the people I work with.
My company environment is pretty relax, which is a dead contrast to the jobscope.
I guess the bosses adopted this relaxed culture to retain the employees' sanity. If this company operates on a rigid structure, I guess most of us would have already quitted.
At the same time, maybe it is because we are supposed to be creative, hence stiff rules do us no good.
Over at where I am, it is actually ok to come in work late, and some of us took it to their responsibility to come in at around 10 or 11.
(I dont, I try to reach by 8.30 if possible. Cos if I reach late, I feel that half the day is gone and nothing's to be completed. That is depressing.)
When we feel peckish, we can go ahead and wander out of the office to buy pastries to eat, or coffee to drink. Or we can go to the bank during office hours, or I'd once went to mend my highheels.
Our working habits here is that, do what you want, dont get caught, and FINISH your work NO MATTER WHAT.
While you may envious my working hours, please remember I've to work long ot hours at the same time.
This system if quite practical to me, because I cannot be forced to work if I've got absolutely no ideas. I'll need to walk around, surf net, browse magazines and etc, and get ideas and concepts. Sometimes by the time I developed my concept, it is already after 6, and I started on actual work by then.
Sigh... doesnt sound like fair deal after all right?
My company environment is pretty relax, which is a dead contrast to the jobscope.
I guess the bosses adopted this relaxed culture to retain the employees' sanity. If this company operates on a rigid structure, I guess most of us would have already quitted.
At the same time, maybe it is because we are supposed to be creative, hence stiff rules do us no good.
Over at where I am, it is actually ok to come in work late, and some of us took it to their responsibility to come in at around 10 or 11.
(I dont, I try to reach by 8.30 if possible. Cos if I reach late, I feel that half the day is gone and nothing's to be completed. That is depressing.)
When we feel peckish, we can go ahead and wander out of the office to buy pastries to eat, or coffee to drink. Or we can go to the bank during office hours, or I'd once went to mend my highheels.
Our working habits here is that, do what you want, dont get caught, and FINISH your work NO MATTER WHAT.
While you may envious my working hours, please remember I've to work long ot hours at the same time.
This system if quite practical to me, because I cannot be forced to work if I've got absolutely no ideas. I'll need to walk around, surf net, browse magazines and etc, and get ideas and concepts. Sometimes by the time I developed my concept, it is already after 6, and I started on actual work by then.
Sigh... doesnt sound like fair deal after all right?
Slacking
I've less commitments in my pile of work today.
Rather, most of the things I have on my list can afford a 2 or 3 hours delay.
So without much ado, I am taking a self awarded 2 hours break. I shall be surfing net and reading blogs. YAY!
Who say I dunno how to slack. I just didnt have the chance to. Wahahaha.
Rather, most of the things I have on my list can afford a 2 or 3 hours delay.
So without much ado, I am taking a self awarded 2 hours break. I shall be surfing net and reading blogs. YAY!
Who say I dunno how to slack. I just didnt have the chance to. Wahahaha.
Sleeping bus passenger
This entry was supposed to be blogged on Monday, but I didnt realise there is a character count limit when I am blogging via gprs, hence my entry was too long to be accepted.
I slept on the bus journey home as I usually do, and I guess I was too tired, for I began to lean away from my seat uncontrollably.
For me, that only happens when I am totally unconscious from feeling too tired. On normal days I sit straight like a piece of steel, behaving like how all bus passengers should.
But on monday, I was lethargic, to speak the least. I didnt even realise that I had been knocking onto my neighbour's shoulder until she shoved me away.
Awoke, I nodded an apology, and refrain from sleeping so that I wont disturb her further. I am tired but I dowan to be a pain in the ass. Sometimes I am that nice. =P
Then this neighbour began to fall asleep. Within 2 minutes, she had already dozed off and started to lean towards me. I didnt react, and began to drift off to sleep again. Suddenly she half-collapse onto me, and at the same moment both of us woke up by the impact.
She looked to me sheepishly and I just placed my bag between her.
Kns one lor. This kind of people are the worst kind. They keep seeing other's faults but none of their own.
I slept on the bus journey home as I usually do, and I guess I was too tired, for I began to lean away from my seat uncontrollably.
For me, that only happens when I am totally unconscious from feeling too tired. On normal days I sit straight like a piece of steel, behaving like how all bus passengers should.
But on monday, I was lethargic, to speak the least. I didnt even realise that I had been knocking onto my neighbour's shoulder until she shoved me away.
Awoke, I nodded an apology, and refrain from sleeping so that I wont disturb her further. I am tired but I dowan to be a pain in the ass. Sometimes I am that nice. =P
Then this neighbour began to fall asleep. Within 2 minutes, she had already dozed off and started to lean towards me. I didnt react, and began to drift off to sleep again. Suddenly she half-collapse onto me, and at the same moment both of us woke up by the impact.
She looked to me sheepishly and I just placed my bag between her.
Kns one lor. This kind of people are the worst kind. They keep seeing other's faults but none of their own.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Job philosophy
The following is my job philosophy:
I'm only a designer, I'm not god!
I am sick of thinking that I need to be wonderwoman, working till 11pm and reaching office at 8.30am.
I am sick of needing to say yes to workload that everyone shuns because I want to help out, even when I am filled to the brim.
I am sick of having to take care of the project from the very start to the very end, even taking over my colleagues work, thus allowing them to leave at 6.00pm.
I am sick of being questioned how come I didnt think of this one detail after I had solved 10 other details. There is only so much my peabrain can absorb and remember (though it is still more that the rest of them).
With the philosophy in mind, I will constantly remind myself to be less hard on myself. I will still put in the due amount of effort, but I want to be able to watch with detachment of the skit going on in the office.
Aza aza hwai'ting!
I'm only a designer, I'm not god!
I am sick of thinking that I need to be wonderwoman, working till 11pm and reaching office at 8.30am.
I am sick of needing to say yes to workload that everyone shuns because I want to help out, even when I am filled to the brim.
I am sick of having to take care of the project from the very start to the very end, even taking over my colleagues work, thus allowing them to leave at 6.00pm.
I am sick of being questioned how come I didnt think of this one detail after I had solved 10 other details. There is only so much my peabrain can absorb and remember (though it is still more that the rest of them).
With the philosophy in mind, I will constantly remind myself to be less hard on myself. I will still put in the due amount of effort, but I want to be able to watch with detachment of the skit going on in the office.
Aza aza hwai'ting!
Tired
As usual, I am supremely tired due to the massive workload. But I manage to ran away from work at 6.30 today, long-bang-ing a colleague's car back home.
I reached at an amazing 7.05pm, which is unheard of ever since I started work.
I've resolved to cease doing ot but this resolution isnt really coming true. But to give myself the credit, I am only doing ot once a wk, or maybe twice a week, (dont let me continue counting), and otherwise I am leaving at around 7.30.
I've finished one day of my ot quota yesterday, working on a presentation for today. Actually I didnt have to stay, for I know I can complete it today. But it is the uncertainty and the inconfidence in myself that propels me to stay back to gather the materials I need, so that it would be easier for me today.
The presentation went fine, and as a matter of fact, the point-of-contact liked it. We didnt have much information on the project, for the POC didnt had much to begin with.
We worked with what we have, and she gave us positive comments. She may be impatient, but I think she is a genuine person too, hence I believe her when she say that she find my design better than the rest that she had already seen.
But of course, the decision maker would be the director, and she have no say as of now. But she would tell the boss she likes my design.
Which is something I rather not base my hopes on. I am more inclined to believe she would leave the whole decision to her boss, even if being asked for an opinion. You must know, not many people challenge boss's opinions like I do.
But regardless whether the project I get confirmed or not, I am already glad to hear that she liked the design. For she is the person whom I took the design brief from, and if she liked it, obviously I've adhered to her requirements. =)
Recently I've lost so many projects that I want to give myself a comforting hug and tell myself it doesnt matter.
Of all of them, the POC(s) expressed favour for my deisgn, but sometimes the decision laid with the big bosses, and as much as they push for my design, their boss might not buy it.
I guess it is my style of presentation that matters. I present in a very 'hyper-excited' mode to make the client anticipate the design. I gush over my words, smiling widely when I do my presentation, bring them with me into the prospects of actually seeing the space is real.
My design had improved by quite a bit recently (mainly because it sucks initially) and I am always pleased to hear that the clients like my design, even if they cant confirm me.
Sigh, sucky sia. On one hand I hate my job for giving me so much stress, on the other, I bask in the job satisfaction that I received here. Arggghh, what should I do?!
I reached at an amazing 7.05pm, which is unheard of ever since I started work.
I've resolved to cease doing ot but this resolution isnt really coming true. But to give myself the credit, I am only doing ot once a wk, or maybe twice a week, (dont let me continue counting), and otherwise I am leaving at around 7.30.
I've finished one day of my ot quota yesterday, working on a presentation for today. Actually I didnt have to stay, for I know I can complete it today. But it is the uncertainty and the inconfidence in myself that propels me to stay back to gather the materials I need, so that it would be easier for me today.
The presentation went fine, and as a matter of fact, the point-of-contact liked it. We didnt have much information on the project, for the POC didnt had much to begin with.
We worked with what we have, and she gave us positive comments. She may be impatient, but I think she is a genuine person too, hence I believe her when she say that she find my design better than the rest that she had already seen.
But of course, the decision maker would be the director, and she have no say as of now. But she would tell the boss she likes my design.
Which is something I rather not base my hopes on. I am more inclined to believe she would leave the whole decision to her boss, even if being asked for an opinion. You must know, not many people challenge boss's opinions like I do.
But regardless whether the project I get confirmed or not, I am already glad to hear that she liked the design. For she is the person whom I took the design brief from, and if she liked it, obviously I've adhered to her requirements. =)
Recently I've lost so many projects that I want to give myself a comforting hug and tell myself it doesnt matter.
Of all of them, the POC(s) expressed favour for my deisgn, but sometimes the decision laid with the big bosses, and as much as they push for my design, their boss might not buy it.
I guess it is my style of presentation that matters. I present in a very 'hyper-excited' mode to make the client anticipate the design. I gush over my words, smiling widely when I do my presentation, bring them with me into the prospects of actually seeing the space is real.
My design had improved by quite a bit recently (mainly because it sucks initially) and I am always pleased to hear that the clients like my design, even if they cant confirm me.
Sigh, sucky sia. On one hand I hate my job for giving me so much stress, on the other, I bask in the job satisfaction that I received here. Arggghh, what should I do?!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
I fear that flying brown thing
It is a well known fact that I am afraid of cockroaches and the mere mention of this creature raises my goosebumps, not to say seeing them in real.
This fear began when I was 10. I remembered that I had tuition and I was there early. Sitting at the stone ledge outside the RC classroom, I was dabbling with a cup of soil which was my beansprout project.
There was a cockroach coming my way. I looked at it nonchalantly, and continue shaking my cup of soil, peering into it intently.
The next thing I know, the cockroach was barely 1 ft away from me. I moved away, and out of its path, but it came closer still.
Suddenly afraid, I backed away in another direction but it turned towards me and crawled over. With nothing to defend me, I had to sacrifice my dear beansprout. I emptied the contents in its direction, but that proved to enraged the little being.
It charged at me and began climbing up my leg!
I promise you my scream then was so loud that it must have raised a few calls to the police.
I managed to shake it off quickly enough with rigours and shakes of my leg and ever since then, they are my Achilles Heel.
There's nothing else that scares me more than cockroaches, not even centipedes, ghosts or annoying colleagues.
I am so afraid of them that I constantly have nightmares of being enclosed in a room with thousands of them.
It is not funny at all when that became a ceaseless joke at my expense, and I hate it that this single fear had become the easy last laugh by verbal sparring opponents.
Disgusting things. (Cockroaches and annoying ppl whom use cockroaches in topics against me.)
This fear began when I was 10. I remembered that I had tuition and I was there early. Sitting at the stone ledge outside the RC classroom, I was dabbling with a cup of soil which was my beansprout project.
There was a cockroach coming my way. I looked at it nonchalantly, and continue shaking my cup of soil, peering into it intently.
The next thing I know, the cockroach was barely 1 ft away from me. I moved away, and out of its path, but it came closer still.
Suddenly afraid, I backed away in another direction but it turned towards me and crawled over. With nothing to defend me, I had to sacrifice my dear beansprout. I emptied the contents in its direction, but that proved to enraged the little being.
It charged at me and began climbing up my leg!
I promise you my scream then was so loud that it must have raised a few calls to the police.
I managed to shake it off quickly enough with rigours and shakes of my leg and ever since then, they are my Achilles Heel.
There's nothing else that scares me more than cockroaches, not even centipedes, ghosts or annoying colleagues.
I am so afraid of them that I constantly have nightmares of being enclosed in a room with thousands of them.
It is not funny at all when that became a ceaseless joke at my expense, and I hate it that this single fear had become the easy last laugh by verbal sparring opponents.
Disgusting things. (Cockroaches and annoying ppl whom use cockroaches in topics against me.)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Simplify your life by cutting back at work
You can simplify your life by cutting back at work
How Can You Simplify Your Life?
Brought to you by Tickle
Yah, I wish I can. But my wish to excel is pressuring me to move ahead.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
27 June
That's when my nafa parttime classes will start. The class is only available on wed and sun, and if you know me, you will know that I hate to go out on sunday.
Hence I've chosen a wednesday slot, even when I know that lesson at 6.30pm is a joke. There is no way I can make it on time unless I fly there.
But what to do? I guess I just have to leave at 6.00 sharp on wednesday and pray I am on time.
Oh, and one thing! The lessons on wednesday means another thing - I will be having lessons on my birthday!
Because the lessons were to begin in July, I kind of hope it would begin from the second week onwards or something. And I was thinking of taking leave on my birthday but it wont make sense now.
Maybe I should take on the day after that, but that doesnt make sense either.
Fuck.
Hence I've chosen a wednesday slot, even when I know that lesson at 6.30pm is a joke. There is no way I can make it on time unless I fly there.
But what to do? I guess I just have to leave at 6.00 sharp on wednesday and pray I am on time.
Oh, and one thing! The lessons on wednesday means another thing - I will be having lessons on my birthday!
Because the lessons were to begin in July, I kind of hope it would begin from the second week onwards or something. And I was thinking of taking leave on my birthday but it wont make sense now.
Maybe I should take on the day after that, but that doesnt make sense either.
Fuck.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Not good enough?
I sms-ed one of those friends whose birthday was today, a chirpy
'happy birthday =)' completed with a smile on my own face.
'happy birthday =)' completed with a smile on my own face.
Imagine the surprise I felt when she replied a 'thanks'.
What? No grinning face in return?
Well, must be one of those who receives hundreds of well meaning
greetings on birthdays that this one more hardly stirred ecstasy.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
4 pair of shoes and A wish
I escaped from work before 7pm today because my hay (that's really what I call the mess on my head) desperately requires a trim.
Now I am one of those who knows a lot of beauty tips by heart but never bother to apply them, partly because it is to no avail anyway.
One should go for a trim every 6 weeks or so to maintain the shape of the tresses. Hmmm, let's see, the last time I went must be a good 3 mths ago. Ooops.
I got my hair trimmed, but that's not the main point.
I actually bought 4 pair of shoes on sale within 15 minutes.
Heee. I could have bought more, but it was a sale, and it doesnt have much size 6s and 7s left. Now now now, if it were me 1 year ago, I would have taken pictures of them and post it here. But the me of this moment (was that directly translated? Bleah!) no longer do that because of the infection of the disease - laziness.
In short, I bought a pair of blue, a pair of black, a pair of white and a pair of brown. I hope with these simple words, you may form images in your mind how my shoes look like.
Just take it from me that they are really pretty.
Speaking of which, I am really tired of the mess in my room. I've got so many things but so little shelves that maximise the space. I considered spending money to install a full height cabinet open shelves (open! with glass! so that I can see my loot!) so that I can tidying up everything that I had.
(Honestly, that is a wild dream, to tidy up I mean, but I really thought about it. Keyword = thought.)
I've got so many books that by my stacking, half of the titles are already missing from view. I dream of having a feature wall with hundreds of glass lockers, where I can display each book.
But the practical part of me reminded that not all books are of the same size, and such lockers would cost an arm and leg to build.
That aside, my best wish is to have a bum out area where I would be surrounded by my clothes, my books, my shoes, my bags and everything I love. I would have a cosy sofa bed there, and a side table where I can place my laptop (wireless internet is a must).
I have my own bedroom, but I never imagine here to be the space of my dreams, hence I never fish money out of my bank to spruce up the sty. I presume I will get married eventually, and if I need to spend money dressing up a room, it should be my future home.
Sigh. Thinking too far ahead now. Especially when prince charming is nowhere in sight, less to say marriage. Bleah!
Now I am one of those who knows a lot of beauty tips by heart but never bother to apply them, partly because it is to no avail anyway.
One should go for a trim every 6 weeks or so to maintain the shape of the tresses. Hmmm, let's see, the last time I went must be a good 3 mths ago. Ooops.
I got my hair trimmed, but that's not the main point.
I actually bought 4 pair of shoes on sale within 15 minutes.
Heee. I could have bought more, but it was a sale, and it doesnt have much size 6s and 7s left. Now now now, if it were me 1 year ago, I would have taken pictures of them and post it here. But the me of this moment (was that directly translated? Bleah!) no longer do that because of the infection of the disease - laziness.
In short, I bought a pair of blue, a pair of black, a pair of white and a pair of brown. I hope with these simple words, you may form images in your mind how my shoes look like.
Just take it from me that they are really pretty.
Speaking of which, I am really tired of the mess in my room. I've got so many things but so little shelves that maximise the space. I considered spending money to install a full height cabinet open shelves (open! with glass! so that I can see my loot!) so that I can tidying up everything that I had.
(Honestly, that is a wild dream, to tidy up I mean, but I really thought about it. Keyword = thought.)
I've got so many books that by my stacking, half of the titles are already missing from view. I dream of having a feature wall with hundreds of glass lockers, where I can display each book.
But the practical part of me reminded that not all books are of the same size, and such lockers would cost an arm and leg to build.
That aside, my best wish is to have a bum out area where I would be surrounded by my clothes, my books, my shoes, my bags and everything I love. I would have a cosy sofa bed there, and a side table where I can place my laptop (wireless internet is a must).
I have my own bedroom, but I never imagine here to be the space of my dreams, hence I never fish money out of my bank to spruce up the sty. I presume I will get married eventually, and if I need to spend money dressing up a room, it should be my future home.
Sigh. Thinking too far ahead now. Especially when prince charming is nowhere in sight, less to say marriage. Bleah!
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Whimsical memories: home
Looks totally random doesnt it? Actually I was taking the picture of the stack of bowls and their reflections in the porcelain walltiles. The composition is bad. Awww.
Old school style of bordering tiles with another colour.
Stools that are as old as I am.
My kitchen is tiled with those 2cm X 2cm little tiles with unfilled grouts. They make beautiful blood rectangles on the skin when you fall on them.
Made ngor hiong once and while it taste good, it doesnt look that promising when I had finished wrapping them.
This food cover makes an interesting photography object, but not more than the well-used rag on it.
Stools again. This is the last plastic one in my house, while we still have many of those that have a laminated top. Never liked to sit on them because it caused creases on the thigh.
Out of place. This plant in the kitchen always get us into trouble when RC members ask to come into the house to advise us of the possible dengue harvesting grounds. I take this pot as the place to empty my contact lens solution. ^^
Biscuits that rarely get finished before their shelf life.
Drink of vile between condiments.
Whimsical memories: cold
I rolled my eyes in impatience when my client called to ask about an issue that was raised just about a million times. As I 'Uh'-ed him with dismissal, I fished out the camera to snap random images.
Of suntec tower 5, I waited in shade for the damned free shuttle bus.
I must be really late for work on this day to be able to catch the sky in such a radiant colour.
Colleague's arguing with someone on the phone in the background, but I observed the stain on the glass window.
Looks like a mini light right? But of course it isnt.
Many loose screws, some of them must be mine.
Control
I took these random pictures that day I went drinking with my colleagues. The place is quite decent in all aspects, but I smoke more than I drank, because I no longer enjoy drinking so much.Otherwise, how do I survive with a single glass of screwdriver through the night?
And I dont understand myself. I hate screwdrivers but yet I chose to drink it where every I go. I contemplated choosing a magarita, but ended up drinking vodka yet again.
Ought to quit, ought to quit.And I am smoking at alarming rates these days too. I was smoking only when I am stressed in the past, but now I am smoking out of a habit. Now I dont want this habit to form.
I already have as little control over my life as it is, I neednt to lose all of it.
Ought to restrain, ought to restrain.
I cant figure myself out, can you?
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Tinyurl
After numerous fleeting naggy thoughts, I finally took the time to find out what is a tiny url.
So that is what it is! A clever website that gives you a shorter url in return when you type in a super long one (especially those in deep links or those from search engines with advance controls properties), and then you may pass this short address to your friends for easy reference.
Then when you type in this url (tinyurl.com/XXXXX) you will be redirected to the original destination. Quite a niffy idea!
Of course, this has been around for ages. I just got to know it recently only, bleah!
So that is what it is! A clever website that gives you a shorter url in return when you type in a super long one (especially those in deep links or those from search engines with advance controls properties), and then you may pass this short address to your friends for easy reference.
Then when you type in this url (tinyurl.com/XXXXX) you will be redirected to the original destination. Quite a niffy idea!
Of course, this has been around for ages. I just got to know it recently only, bleah!
Friday, June 01, 2007
Cruzteng.com
I constantly read zhiyong's blog, and it never fail to amaze me how he can be that articulate in both languages. Recently, due to his itchy hands his decision to upgrade the version of the wordpress for his blog, he dabbled with his blog's contents and the entire blog went pooff.
Well, thank god for webcrawelers and online archives, part of his blog can be found here.
Not all entries are there, but mai hiam buay pai lor!
Well, thank god for webcrawelers and online archives, part of his blog can be found here.
Not all entries are there, but mai hiam buay pai lor!
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