Tired

As usual, I am supremely tired due to the massive workload. But I manage to ran away from work at 6.30 today, long-bang-ing a colleague's car back home.

I reached at an amazing 7.05pm, which is unheard of ever since I started work.


I've resolved to cease doing ot but this resolution isnt really coming true. But to give myself the credit, I am only doing ot once a wk, or maybe twice a week, (dont let me continue counting), and otherwise I am leaving at around 7.30.

I've finished one day of my ot quota yesterday, working on a presentation for today. Actually I didnt have to stay, for I know I can complete it today. But it is the uncertainty and the inconfidence in myself that propels me to stay back to gather the materials I need, so that it would be easier for me today.

The presentation went fine, and as a matter of fact, the point-of-contact liked it. We didnt have much information on the project, for the POC didnt had much to begin with.

We worked with what we have, and she gave us positive comments. She may be impatient, but I think she is a genuine person too, hence I believe her when she say that she find my design better than the rest that she had already seen.

But of course, the decision maker would be the director, and she have no say as of now. But she would tell the boss she likes my design.


Which is something I rather not base my hopes on. I am more inclined to believe she would leave the whole decision to her boss, even if being asked for an opinion. You must know, not many people challenge boss's opinions like I do.

But regardless whether the project I get confirmed or not, I am already glad to hear that she liked the design. For she is the person whom I took the design brief from, and if she liked it, obviously I've adhered to her requirements. =)


Recently I've lost so many projects that I want to give myself a comforting hug and tell myself it doesnt matter.

Of all of them, the POC(s) expressed favour for my deisgn, but sometimes the decision laid with the big bosses, and as much as they push for my design, their boss might not buy it.

I guess it is my style of presentation that matters. I present in a very 'hyper-excited' mode to make the client anticipate the design. I gush over my words, smiling widely when I do my presentation, bring them with me into the prospects of actually seeing the space is real.

My design had improved by quite a bit recently (mainly because it sucks initially) and I am always pleased to hear that the clients like my design, even if they cant confirm me.



Sigh, sucky sia. On one hand I hate my job for giving me so much stress, on the other, I bask in the job satisfaction that I received here. Arggghh, what should I do?!