No courage to call

There's this person whom I hope to contact, but I've no courage to do so.

The old number that I used to contact this person at might no longer be in use but I've got no way to tell because I dare not dial the number.

Sigh.

300 smses exchanged and those memories

While packing, I uncovered many memories.

I kept some, I threw away some.

One of the things I kept, were a written record of all the smses I received from A Certain Someone # 3 during the ambiguous stage. I can still recall how elated I was each time my nokia 8310 sang its sms tune. While I changed handphone later, because this 8310 is almost equivalent to this blissful period of time, I never traded in the phone even when I eventually changed handphone.

Quite silly.

Time 21:34:42
Today is Monday so I wan to say good evening to you.

Time 08:33:42
Today is Tuesday so good morning.

Time 10:06:50
Today is Wednesday good mid morning to you.

Time 00:01:51
Today is Thursday so I hope to be the first to say good morning.

Time 09:52:25
Today is the last weekday of the week, use it wisely or lose it.

... etc etc. For a few weeks, he'll sms me at different time of the day and remind me which day of the week it was. I welcomed that, because that was a good conversation starter. We would then chat about special mondays, special tuesdays, special wednesdays etc in our past. Damn silly. But standing side by side behind the railing overlooking the crowds 4 stories beneath us, there's no reason to speak of serious philosophical questions anyway.

During that period of time, we seldom talk face to face or over telephone. We mainly chatted over smses. We exchanged close to 300 smses talking about mundane things, such as how stressed I was, and he will always cheer me up and spur me on. While he was packing and moving to another house, I was so updated on his progress that it felt that I was there doing the packing. Haha.

I miss that phase. *Wistful*

Blowing warm and cool

"I really cannot. I'm sorry."

"You always do that to me. I hate you." I hissed.

"If I can then will you like me?"



Does he knows how ironic that sounds?

Please!

Dear guardian angels,


Please!
Let him be able to go.


Kami-sama! Onegaishimasu!

Just reached home

I'd just reached home after the 3 hour show and a drinking session.

I got to know a person through my colleagues when he joined us for the show.

He... reminds me of someone.

Missing him

I'm with my colleagues now in the theatre waiting for Pirates of the Caribbean to start.

I can't help but to remember watching this 2nd part of this sequel with him in the same theatre.

We were in a big group then, and I was to sit with him when another friend took the seat between us.

Throughout the entire show, while enjoying depp, I wondered if we sat together, would we be inseparable from then on.

Silly, but I really wondered.

It feels like crap

When one thing goes wrong, everything else will just take cue and
break into pieces.

Shards cut. But not worse than indifference.

Misunderstood

It hurts most when it is by someone whom you care about.

"He is just too busy to take my call," the girl consoled herself.

But all three calls, an hour spaced carefully between them, hadnt manage to convince the guy to call back. He sent a harsh sms, asking her what's wrong?

She knew, from the tone, she was treading on thin ice, so she picked her words cautiously in the reply. She only wanted to know how he was, and was worried when he didnt answer calls.

His retort, even if it was just digital words in her handphone, felt like a knife that was drove into her.

She has little left to say. Maybe she should accept that this relationship, directed by both of them hand in hand, was leading towards doom.