Monday, March 02, 2009

Being Responsible to Myself

An ex called and still wanted to know why I wouldnt give him a chance back then.

I mean, hallo, how long ago is this? 1/2 year? And he is still hung up about this?

This guy is one year younger than me, and when we were together, he was still in poly. I obviously didnt mind when we first got together, but shortly after, I felt that I wanted out.

I had been working for almost 6 years already, and it is tiring when he complains to me about his school project, and how his team mates are not cooperative. Of course when I was in school, complaining about team mates are top priority, but I guess 6 years down the road, I am no longer interested in poly's trivial issues.

The only person that I am talking about poly project team mates issues, is my own brother. My brother is 18, and in poly. This is his 2nd year, and with each different module, he needs to work with different people and sometimes, he has no idea how to handle them.

I admit that I am being biased here. To me, my younger brother was going through this when he is 18, at the same age where I was having the same problem, but always lamented that there were no one who could advise me. (Please search thru my archives for the stories of me dreaming that I'd died.)

To this ex, I guess it is because he is asking me this qn when he is 24, an age when I'd handled expensive accounts in banks, when I'd worked my ass off a career that I'd believed in, and when I'd been stabbed thoroughly by so many people that I'd stop counting.

Unfortunately, I didnt realise it earlier, but once I recognise this, I ended things, and didnt take effort to make it clear to hime why. Unfortunately, I am someone who has little patience.

He called me to tell me that he'd graduated from school. And is going to begin work. He ask me does he still stand a chance. I told him harshy that unfortunately, as selfish as I soud, I do have to take care of my future. I do not think there will ever be a day where he will catch up with me in terms of work experience and life experience, yet I need someone who can take care of me.

Am I being selfish? I do not think so bah. I think I am just being responsible to myself. Guys who are not good enough should not be wasting my time. And to me, if I cannot find a correct person right now, I would rather be happily single, than to waste time and effort on guys who are apparently wrong.

That is being responsible to myself.

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