What if tomorrow never comes?

Esther forwarded me an email that says we should tell our friends we love them, and do it fast, cos what if tomorrow never comes?

I rubbed my chin and think:

Wow, that is a good idea!

Can we make tomorrow to not come?

[OK EVERYONE CEASE READING FROM HERE ON .
The rest of this entry is for myself only, and I am putting it here cos it is my blog.]

That is difficult, I can only manage my own destiny I guess. I think I can cause my tomorrow never to come.

But should I do it? Would that be a good idea?

Sometimes I feel so sick of myself and my existence that I wonder what bad does it result in the case of my death? Sure, friends and family would be shocked, they will grieve, and then?

What would they do after that? Bravely continuing their lives while tears gather in their eyes on the anniversary?

While I burn in hell for ending a misery?

I tried to think on the bright side and tell myself maybe things would turn for the better if I quit and embark on a new life.

And then I laughed at my own foolishness.How can that be even remotely possible?

My life was too smooth up to my entry to poly, and from there life went downhill. I must had used up all my good karma in my early years.

Now there is none left.

And bad karma is here to haunt me.

I wished I am positive and optimistic enough to pull through any difficulties, and I know some of you are already shaking your heads and feel that I am being a wilful attention seeking bitch who cannot take the tiniest hardship.

So what if I am.

Come knock me down with your car lor!