Henry is a friend whom I chat regularly on msn only.
k : i very pek chek... but dunno have to explain to you starting from where... long long story... regarding work
h : will take long or not.... later story half u wan to log off liao...
k : very long, you want to listen ar?
h : haha..... convenient not?
k : ok , i start
k : basically i long bang a coll's car home just now
k : he is something like a boss/manager in the company, but i am not under him
k : at my office, we are divided into teams
k : in my team there is 3 boss, he is one of them, but i am under another boss in the team
k : so... the three of them always get together and talk one lah,
h : so he is not ur direct boss right....
k : yah... not, but he can tekan me still... he is the one who hired me though.. he just now just said that he can sack me if he wants to
h : WAH!!!!
k : so just now vnc was saying i have attitude problem, said i am not handling things aptly
k : said he felt it is not fair for me to go tell so many people of the conflict between me and my direct boss (adl)
k : said adl is upset.
k : i told him i never expected her not to, she have to start to get use to the fact that not everyone will do things the way she wants
h : HM... OKOK...
k : if life dont sail smoothly for me, why must is sail smoothly for her at MY EXPENSE?
k : he felt that i shouldnt have told so many ppl, shouldnt have gossip
k : i told him, that is depending on how a person defines 'gossip'
k : to me, i am not gossiping, I am just relating my anger to my friends at work
k : i am not restricting to only colleagues, i complain about it to my family, to my outside friends, ex colleagues, etc...
k : i told him i dont think i am gossiping,
h : but u talk to it in the office?
k : but i did talk about it to many ppl
h : i mean u talk about it in the office?
k : yah
h : today?
k : angry about things tt she did to me, then i talk about it lor
k : no lah, it is acutally quite some time ago
k : dunno why suddenly he brings it up again.
h : oic.... so it's some time ago one....
k : and also i dont think i am gossiping because i wasnt lying at all.... i didnt twist the story to my favour, and i am not targetting at her alone....
k : when i am angry, i AM angry,
k : if it is vnc who made me angry, i will also complain about him.
k : to me it is really not a case of gossip, if anyone have to put a term to it, i am complaining
h : okok...
k : i dont expect everything to go my way
h : maybe perhaps he dun wan u to sow more discord around ba....
k : but sometimes these boss are really *_$(*$%&#
k : precisely.... that is what he felt
k : that i am sowing discord
k : that with me coming to the surface with my anger
k : many ppl are admitting on their anger too
k : it is not something that i expected
k : nor is is somethign that I was wishing for
k : when i complain, i was going saying my piece
k : i dont know how it affects the rest
h : ya.... boss always cover each other's backside...
k : the rest had always have a problem with her but because the bosses cover each other so well, we subordinates usually dont dare to say anything.
k : i used to think that I am the one having problem
k : until i express my anger, express my helplessness when it comes to handling her, then i realised everyone who worked with her felt exactly the same way
k : she is at fault but she would point the finger at me because i am an easy scapegoat
h : simple lor....
k : can always say i havent got time to finish my work, (when it is because she felt the job is too small for her but yet she dowan to offend client personally)
k : everyone who ever worked with her kena it before
h : some boss are like that one...
k : if i never express my anger, i would never had known so many ppl are facing the same problem
h : hm.... then dun have to worry lah....
k : but because i expressed my anger, many ppl are taking the opportunity to run adl down
k : and now the fault lies with me,
k : because i am 'sowing discord'
h : the worst case is look for new job lor since u cannot enjoy ur work....
k : when did i did that? i was merely expressing my opinion
k : sometimes i felt like quitting
k : but i dowan to be yet another person to quit because of her
h : maybe voice out to HR to transfer....
h : that means many has left ar?
k : the other teams wont take me in one... cos if they do they will offend adl
k : a few have left. from as far as i heard... not just in the department, some of the admin also
h : then i think since u feel so bad there, might as well look for a new job liao...
h : no point feeling so sad working there right...
k : because when she gives work, she wants the work NOW... no matter what you are doing, she want the work NOW!, if you cannot finish, good luck, she will tell the client you cannot finish the work
k : and she totally ignore the fact that it takes time to do any work
k : like she can go for meeting at 11, tell the client she will get the changes done and she will be back by 2
h : simple lor.... jus do what u do best lor....
h : anything happen she push the blame to u...
h : but something will happen to her sooner or later....
h : if she skeep pushing the job to ur side..
k : she will give unrealistic deadlines
k : but now at least she dont do that to me, cos i argued with her once
k : i told her that her deadlines are unrealistic and unreasonable
k : but now at least she dont do that to me, cos i argued with her once
k : but she is still doing that to other colleagues, but i cant help them either... i also cant save myself much
h : i think she shud ask u first by what time u can finish and do adjustment...
k : because i do autocad drawings
k : i tell her to give me at least one hr per piece
k : last time she can demand 2 piece in 50mins
h : for buildings or electronics?
k : system furniture la, not as complicated as building plans
k : so each a4 will take ard 1hr for me
h : oicic....
h : so jus take ur time to do ur best lor...
h : see how long she can push the blame to u....
h : the most u get fired...
h : but she'll be in depp shit....
k : she still does tt all the time
k : i dowan to be fired la
k : i want to throw letter if i can
h : hm.... okok... try to endure....
k : he felt that i am not responsible at work
k : doing things like adl tells me
k : he said when he hired me
k : he is looking to have someone who can counter propose to the sales (adl is the sales person)
k : i know i should be, but i am not doing it at all
k : i also dunno why
h : meaning?
k : say client have this budget
k : then adl propose something
k : she propose then all the sai gang proposal i do one la, like dwgs, quotation, imaging, etc all i do
k : so while i am doing, i should be thinking of ways to improve her quotation,
k : maybe quote a different range of products
k : and etc etc etc etc
h : oic.... evaluation...
k : so that she gets the job
k : but i am not doing tt at all
k : she gives me whatever crap
k : i do up proposal and gives her whatever crap she decided on
h : then u shud start to do what ur job scope allows..
k : i also dunno why i so kuai lan
k : maybe because i want to cut down on the chance to talk to her
k : the less i ask and counterpropose, the less i need to communicate with her
k : then i wont be so pissed by her, or the chance of her pissing me off is reduced
h : hm.... in the first place.... first impression.... do u like her?
k : first impresson ar
k : no particular impression
k : but i started being pissed with her less than 2 wks into the job.
h : so fast ar?
k : i just joined the company and i didnt know my company's product
k : she ask me go visit a client alone. (vnc told me i NEVER need to visit client alone)
k : i told her i cant handle, she unwillingly say will go with me
k : on the day, she took mc, and i was forced to go alone... she asked the third boss in our team to ask me to go alone
k : i keep saying i cant
h : u say u not experienced enuff ma...
k : cos i dunno the information
h : ya... TRUE!!!
k : if client ask me i DIE!
k : she insist i go, and so i went lor
k : client really bua me
k : i dont mind getting scolded, cos at my last job i am getting scolded everyday, i am immuned,
k : but i mind getting sabotaged
k : she knew very well i couldnt handle but she wouldnt help me
h : the u next time also take mc lor....
k : despite me repeatedly saying i cant
k : from then on i dont like her le
h : purposely bitch...
k : that day the moment i stepped back into the office i slammed the file on the table
k : vnc asked me what's wrong, i explained to him
k : he told me "wha, you very gan leh... any information also dun have you also dare to go... you really prepare yourself to be scolded hor?"
h : wah... bastard le.....like that u got sandwich....
k : vnc is still ok, tell you, compared to adl...
h : he is an angel ar?
k : at least with vnc i anything unhappy i can just slam the table
k : and thrash out with him over vulgarities
h : wah.... fierce.....
k : he also knows he work well, so he wont sabotage me in terms of work... he will only show me attitude problem only
k : i am fine with tt la, cos my attitude sucks also
k : but adl not like that one leh... she dunno her work, and yet we cannot make her feel stupid, or she will be angry
k : i am really earning the title of the official bitch in the company
k : my temper is the worst of the worse
k : hahaha
h : haha... but try to endure and change....
k : change my temper?
k : how to?
k : it is my personality leh
k : how to change
k : i can control la
k : dont show my anger
k : swallow them up
k : but i will implode leh
h : then change attitude also...
h : later u'll get depression wor..
k : i alr have depression, at the most i get is a relapse
k : which is very often
k : so there's no difference
k : sometimes, i really dunno how to handle life
h : Wah.... Hey..... dun talk like that leh...
k : i always talk like tt one leh... dont you start installing an alarm once you hear i've got depression leh
k : i am not worried about my depression
k : but recently it really seems to be coming back
k : and i have to start to worry about my other illness
h : maybe due to ur work mah.....
h : must learn to enjoy ur work mah.....
k : i thought i am
k : until vnc reminds me that i am not doing work up to standard
h : but do u think u are going to work long there?
k : i planned 2 yrs
k : but now....
k : dunno wor, ive been here for less than 5mths
It had been days, but I am still upset as I thought about it.
I really think I might be in the wrong job, but then again, I dont seem to fit in any other job.
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