Wha, I'm popular ok! Hee like real.
Was talking to wanxin about random boliao stuff, including how I am ok le. Told her I cried like crazy tues or wed night, then the next day when I woke up I was ok liao leh.
She said if she could cry jiu hao le... but ku bu chu lai.
That reminds me of ah niu's song:
哭
最苦是泪水啃在心头流不出
就像要爱却不懂怎么去爱
自己哭过后才明白
流过泪的眼睛将生命看得更清楚
What a fuckingly sad song.
But I didnt entirely cried because of him leh. But I think it helps lor. Ku ba!
Then he logged in. I told wanxin lor. He logged in leh. Do I care? No I dont. (Partly because he logged in many times while I was online these few days but I totally can fuck care after that cry lor.)
用尽了力气勇敢后，就不再有力气坚强了。says
he just signed in
用尽了力气勇敢后，就不再有力气坚强了。says
and do i care?
用尽了力气勇敢后，就不再有力气坚强了。says
i dont
用尽了力气勇敢后，就不再有力气坚强了。says
hahaha
没有人能确信自己会是彼此未来里永恒的幸福。过去的自己永远不可能重新找回，因为人会成长。面对自己的时候，要演坚强给谁看？says
ha
没有人能确信自己会是彼此未来里永恒的幸福。过去的自己永远不可能重新找回，因为人会成长。面对自己的时候，要演坚强给谁看？says
zai
Zai hor! I think so too! 首先说放手的那一方，永远占上风 mah, as quoted by wanxin.
Until he spoke to me. I really freak out leh! Fuckingly jing zhang. Zai? Pi leh! I really panic lor, keep asking wanxin how how how? Didnt want to response, but in the end still did. Had to force myself to sound super normal.
But once I started msn-ing with him I ok le leh. Chey.
But like I told wanxin la, 首先说放手的那一方，永远占上风, so I have to speak to him. Only by doing so, only by being used to it then I can begin to learn to really fang xia. Only when I can 大大声的说 "I let go already hor!", and I dont question myself in the least then I can say I fang xia already.
But I dowan to 占上风 la. I just dowan to appear as the 弱者.
Also spoke to lao da and andy on msn also la. Now that I can catch them on msn I will be very assured le. I am soooo in need of someone being there in my time of weakness. I may not be talking to him/her, but I just need someone to be there. Even if he/she isnt aware that he/she is my pillar at that moment.
Did I mention how reliant I am on the internet? I am super dependant on msn and this blog. Sia la. I am going crazy le.
