Sick feeling

I'm feeling sick.

I am really worried about work tomorrow, not knowing how to fit in, and not knowing if I can fit in even if I try very hard.

I've been telling myself these days that it is no longer good enough to say I'll try my best. If I want to get anything done, I must tell myself I CAN do it. I need my voice to reassure myself, so I keep chanting over and over again, reminding myself I have to gather my confidence.

But I am so worried I think I am going to break down already.

I had to take paracetamol to curb my headache and I broke a mug in my distraction. I didnt drop it, I actually smashed it into the against the wall when I was walking to the kitchen to get it washed. The mug was empty, so I guess I swung it in an arc that was too big for the narrow corridor.

I think I want to cry.

The uneasiness is swallowing me up.