Give me a while more

I am not ready to blog it out yet.

Like I mentioned before, if I can flare up and be angry at least I am dealing with my anger, but now mainly I am being wronged and a dead sense of betrayal.

I dont know if I am going crazy or what, but I may have an overdose of brainwashing, from myself, no less. Maybe I shouldnt have been so extreme, to brainwash myself to be void of any anger.

Sometimes I think I can form a cult on my own, with myself as the only member. My mind is so weak that it takes a little good advice from anybody, and I can successfully twist my brain so much that the advice keeps swimming in my head.

What I had received are good advice, but maybe I am too much a believer when it comes to good advice. I am not wise enough to decide when are the scenarios that are not suitable for the advice.

It is really scary how my own brainwashing can do. I am not feeling angry. Not at the meeting yesterday, not at the meeting the day before.

All I was feeling was that adeline is crazy. She must have a few vital screws missing.

Everyone else was feeling angry for me. I hope I could be angry, but I wasnt, I was merely laughing at the irony of it all.

The same day, on wed, I've told pris and ncn, that from the same day onwards, I am not going to be angered by adeline's poor attitude anymore. Nevermind her bossiness, nevermind her being yahyah. I've mentioned before that I am nice to ppl who are nice to me, and in the same tone, I will return in folds when people show me their attitude.

But I had already decided that I wont be angry with her anymore.

I shall, from then on, bear with her, not be angry with her, and treat the job with professionalism.

But it was the same day when she decided to drop the threat on me, and all I could felt was "Now she is crazier than I thought."

I wish I could be angry. I wish I could still feel the furious blood rushing through me and I wish I could scream some vulgarities.

But at this point of time. All I am feeling is just sickness. This company is sick!

Most importantly, adeline is sick. She is a hypercritical woman and a liar at that. She needs a doctor.