It's ridiculous...

... but I'm feeling upset.

I dont know why, but I felt swarmed by negative feelings. =(

I am looking forward to my block leave and birthday in july. But at the same time, that will signify a uncomfortable closeness to my job's contract's end. I dont exactly love the job, but I am worried about being stranded.

What if I dont get renewed? What if eventually I cant live my dreams? What if I'm stuck in the expressway of hopelessness? Yah, I know I should break my bad habit of worrying, but old habits die hard.

I should go sleep on it. It's late. Thank god tmr's a holiday in lieu, I can escape from work a little while more. =)

I am trying to convince myself to relax a little and do my job as they come along. Although I hit a pretty good target last mth, I have to remember that all lies mainly on luck, and I just had a overdose on luck last mth. And that luck doesnt come every mth/day/minute.

If I cant hit good score on my targets, I should be contented over meeting minimum target with minimum ot. The more I work on this job where I have to recycle my anger, the more it drains me. To avoid a dehydration, I shall cease to work excessively and continously.

And I shall be taking jap courses w/ lao da as planned. Will be calling some of the schools to find out soon. I want to take my mind off the job, and enjoy my life.

Eventually, I hope I can be living my dream job in this order.
Parttime diploma >> Parttime degree >> NIE training >> Teacher.

I pray.

While slaying the procrastinator within me. Or trying to slay.