Fedup

Post note:

Happens once and again. I flare up then realised I shouldnt be so agitated. Maybe I really need to take my emotions more in rein lah. But decided against deleting the post to remind myself not to be so angered over such issues again.

They are just going to cost more wrinkles, and guys to run away from me... I cant let either happen la!




I am going to let loose of my tongue and leash out all the vulgarities I ever know at the top of my voice!!!!!!!!!!

CCB!!!!!

KNN!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

That doesnt relieve me of my anger at all! I want to slap things to the floor, break some china, tear up some witch's costumes among other things. I want to learn how to ride a bike and ride away at the speed of 200km/h so that I can scream to my heart's contents and others just think it is my engine humming.


I want to go around slapping everyone in sight and want to stab every one I see with a single chopstick. If the opening is too small to allow a quick lost of vast volume of blood, let me perform harakiri on everyone with my cosmetic eyebrow shaver. One single swing of sword is too fast to feel any pain, I want to peel at skin and corpse with the most minute weapon.

When all have died I want to whip their corpse and sever the limbs and heads then when I have sufficient fun I want to burn all the corpses to form the most natural fertilizers.

She is really a witch leh. I am only seeking some refuge from my work and she have to bombard me with HER work. If she gives me all of her pay or pay me accordingly to my market worth then come and ask me to help her can?

At these days, even if you as much as want someone to pass you the liquid paper at work it is considered as a giant favour and you are expected to return the favour with a favour that is worth, in all monetary and dao yi senses, that is 5 or 10 times greater than the original.

Why did she even have the warped mind to think that my mind is supposed to work ot for her. It is as though I dont have a bad enough time at work already.... Then once in a rare occassion when I decide to indulge in myself and stay away from work I am expected to spend all of my saved time on her.

To begin with, she dont even treat me like her f/m. Not tt I want to, because I am not into american's habit of celebrating halloween, nor do I have any huge passion to learn how to ride a broom as my transport to work. Or for that matter, transport to anywhere.

I dont understand how can anyone be so selfish. When computer is down, everyone can take the excuse to say they have no computer knowledge then not lift a finger to help.

When my old ahma needs help they just push the responsibility to anyone else.

When I was suffering from panic attacks while working on my final yr project, was nearing hysterics but she will demand I return her the money I borrowed from her.

When I tried to help when she manages sat dinner preparation she screams at me. When I cant control my emotions she ask me to stop acting.

When there are letters to read, contents to be explained, she will come to me. And when I explained I am seriously a dummy when it comes to insurrance, she feels I am being evasive.

When I need to do work on the computer when I was in poly, when the computer was in my elder bro's room, she will ask me to switch off the ceiling light so that it will not affect his sleep. But I fuckingly need to refer to my sketches and hand drawn plans!

When I need to study for exams, the tv can be left on and everyone can be walking ard me and talking and laughing and conversating. When I closed the door to one of the rooms to try to study in peace she ask I need to close the door as though she dont know how tremendously noisy it is.

When my elder bro needs to study for exam, none of us can talk beyond a certain voice level so that we will not disturb him. What the good does it do? He still flucks his exams.

When my younger bro needs to study, despite how busy I am, I must find time to teach him. If he did well, it is because he is gifted. If he didnt do well, I am condemned to hell.

When my younger bro needs to choose a sec school after psle, everyone appointed me to do it. I tried to explain he is the one studying, he should make the final choice. No one agrees and wants me to decide. Fine I did. And when the choice was finally wrong, I die.

When this same younger bro is rebellious, I am expected to talk to him, to counsel him, to explain to him what's right and what's not. If I dont I am considered as have not taking responsibility is my younger bro's affair. But did it ever cross her mind that I AM NOT HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!!!

And why is it that I need to collect his report card when it is a task that belongs to parents? Must I repeat that I AM NOT HIS MOTHER!!~!~!~!~!~!!??!


She expects me to learn illustrator because she needs it at work. She thinks because illustrator is under adobe, photoshop is also under adobe, I know photoshop, so therefore I must know illustrator.

What kind of warped mindset is that?



It is like I tell you I've learn japanese, and I can speak a little japanese too! *proud*

Then you throw me a book and tell me, japanese is asian language, korean is asian language, therefore I must know korean too. WTF?


Or I tell you I listen to guang dong ge (although I dont), you tell me since I like guang dong ge I must like guang dong da xi too. WTF?? Where got the same meh? Siao.



If you think these examples are too far-fetched, then I quote a nearer and more similar example lor.

I tell you I'm good at microsoft word and microsoft powerpoint.

You tell me "Oh if that's the case, you must know microsoft frontpage and microsoft access as well."

Huh?

Huh??

HUH?!?!?!?!?!

Related meh?

Then I always pride myself as being patient with people who needs my help. But for some reason, this exclusiveless doesnt extend to the witch. I hate to explain things to her. Who wouldnt? Especially when the same question gets asked again and again and again. I'm experiencing deja vu every night that I suspect my life never actually moves forward.

*****

Night 1:

I scan this in liao, how to save the work. Can save "my lock-q-ments" in a'drive or not? If I save this in a'drive later tmr can I take it out from a'drive? Or can take it out from "my lock-q-ments"? Or can take out from scanner?

>Furious explaination with lots of hand gestures and a lot of translations from eng to mandarin<

*****

Night 2:

If I scan in this thing huh, later how I save leh? Can save at "my lock-q-ments"? Or can save in diskette? How to save in diskette huh? Then how to save in "my lock-q-ments"? Later how I open?

>Animated explaination with finger gestures and much translation from eng to mandarin<

*****

Night 3:

I today scan this thing leh. How to save huh? Can I save at "my lock-q-ments" or a'drive? Later when I want to open how to open leh?

>Half-hearted explaination with occassional head movements and all terms like "save", "file", "scan" etc remain all in their native english. Every other sentenses also deliberately punctuated with english.<

*****

Night 4:

I scan liao I can save where huh? Can save at "my lock-q-ments" or "my computer"? Later when I open the file I must open scanner?

>Deja Vu!!!! Piangzzzz....... I thought I've heard tt before?!!<