Display name

Sometimes I wonder if I am reading too much into display names my friends used on msn.

I used to be putting down just my nickname as my display name, but recently after what happened btw me and him, I've changed my display name on msn to the above blog title.

Or rather, mutually at the same time, I've changed this blog's title and my msn's display name to 用尽了力气勇敢后，就不再有力气坚强了。

This phrase holds an importance to me. Wanxin and myself were lamenting about our lifes over a telephone conversation and we were dejected that things hadnt turn out correctly. But we agreed that we had been very 勇敢 by doing what we did. When we further reflected on ourselves, I was telling her "惨了，我没力气勇敢了." She reminded me that no ar, we've been very 勇敢 already, so I corrected myself weakly, and said "对，我们都很勇敢。但却在用尽了力气勇敢后，就不再有力气坚强了。"

This is how this phrase came about.

*Stupid wanxin, give you the benefit lah, it's your contribution that I managed to correct my original phrase into this, which later maketh my blog title and msn display name. Bleah.*

So like I said, because currently I am using a display name that is of importance to me, sometimes I wonder does the display name of my friends mean anything special? Or they just put it there for the fun of it, without explicit rationale?

I remembered once lao da put something in the line of (in chinese), strawberry, oranges, apples, how much does they cost? And I was like "Huh?"

I quickly tried to know did he meant anything beyond the written words that I couldnt comprehend at face value? He never gave me a straightforward answer. For all I know it could be his wits at play again, marrying words without proper reasonings, yet at the same time makes the reader bang his/her head against the keyboard in frustration, trying to grasp the profound meanings behind his words of wisdom.

Sometimes lao da has this capability.

But being melancholy as I always am, I chose to think he might have some real meanings behind those words but he wasnt going to tell me there and then. So I left it as it is, playing the role of a friend who would 默默的看守着朋友, but not make any unnecessary comments.

屁嘞！这种守护天使的角色我根本揣摩不来。=P

And currently I've got a friend whose display name is reading as anyone there? waiting for anyone?
I am dying to ask him what does he means by that sentence? The two lines, grammatically incomplete, is contradicting. I should, but I dowan him to think that I am nitpicking on his english as usual.

And another friend, whose display name reads everyday requires so much courage, and i am running low - your soul is my only security.
All I can say is that if this aqquaintance of mine writes a blog, I would love her use of language. I've seen many of her display names before, for she changes them very frequently, and I really like the way she summarise herself in the short amt of space given.

If you ever see my entry titles being superby beautiful, chances are, I plagiarised her words. I am honest at least, since I dont have a flair for poetic lines. Wrinkle lines I do have a few, want to share them?



***

While on the topic of display names and titles, I shall digress upon the title of this blog.

This blog's title used to read: "and that's me" and this blog address used to be www.andttsme.blogspot.com. Now I've swopped it over with another blog of mine and I officically started to use kanigi as my moniker.

I started with that blog at first, blogging mainly in chinese because I am obsessed with the way I speak mandarin. *roll eyes*. That blog is so peaceful and gentle mainly because typing in chinese takes too long and I'll lost my focus of my anger while trying to speed up my typing of hanyupinyin.

Suddenly I thought that blog is not helping me much. I wanted to write a blog not because I wanted to record beautiful thoughts, but rather record things down important to me, however mundane they are. To any readers, some of the things I even bother to blog might seem too ordinary, but I record them for the sake of wanting to remember them.

Also, I needed a venue to stowaway my anger. I am easily angered and my temper comes very quickly. Thank god it goes away pretty fast too.

But there are times when I am so angry that I became short of breathe, and I find a need to release my tension and I would be here in front of the computer, smashing away on my keyboard, blogging it down.

This blog has evolved, as seen to myself.

Formly, it is merely a few occupied kilobytes on the vast world wide web.

Now, I'd like to think of it as my personal shout-into-bin.

I can look back at my old entries and realised that how things have changed. How I've changed and how my life had changed.

But ultimately, I think this blog suddenly reeks so much of me because of the blog title. Every since I've changed it to this blog title I've been loving it. It speaks volumes of me. I am not only talking about the meaning, but also because the use of the words, because I get to flaunt my ability of writing beautifully in chinese.

Though I cant write pretty-sounding words in english, but I can write angrily in english wor.

=)

I am in awe of how I am able to summarise myself properly into a blog title.